Now You Know Why I Moved to Big Sky Country
Day 547, 21:19
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Lenore Rosborough
Woman with beer can in hand starts brawl at wake
The Associated Press
MAGNOLIA, Ark.—Sheriff's deputies said a Texas woman started a brawl at a wake in Arkansas when she arrived with a beer can in her hand. The woman, 52, faces a third-degree domestic battery charges, as does another woman, 46, over the March 29 fight. Deputies said the first woman arrived at the Christies Chapel Church with a beer can in hand and that she refused to leave.
The first woman then allegedly grabbed a man by the face, leaving scratch marks on his lower right cheek and causing him to bleed. The man's mother, then allegedly slapped the woman and kicked another woman in the chest.
A sheriff's report claimed the woman with the beer became "passively aggressive" with deputies and said that "no backwood country cop" was going to take her to jail.
That's the end of the AP's reporting of the story. Do you want the real low down on this story, dear readers? The mother who slapped one woman (the beer-drinking woman) and kicked another in the chest is a second degree blackbelt in Tae-Kwon-Do. The slap was actually a "one-punch" which put the beer-drinking woman on the ground. The kick in the chest of the third woman was a roundhouse kick (a la Chuck Norris). All three women were sisters! This was their mother's wake.....
Now you know why I've moved to Big Sky Country!
[This is a brand new newspaper which I've been mulling over starting for some time now. My decision to run for Congress made the decision to start my newspaper easier. I intend to bring fun tidbits from RL and the eRepublik world here for your consumption. I will also use this outlet to publish my voting record if my bid for Congress is a success.]
The Associated Press
MAGNOLIA, Ark.—Sheriff's deputies said a Texas woman started a brawl at a wake in Arkansas when she arrived with a beer can in her hand. The woman, 52, faces a third-degree domestic battery charges, as does another woman, 46, over the March 29 fight. Deputies said the first woman arrived at the Christies Chapel Church with a beer can in hand and that she refused to leave.
The first woman then allegedly grabbed a man by the face, leaving scratch marks on his lower right cheek and causing him to bleed. The man's mother, then allegedly slapped the woman and kicked another woman in the chest.
A sheriff's report claimed the woman with the beer became "passively aggressive" with deputies and said that "no backwood country cop" was going to take her to jail.
That's the end of the AP's reporting of the story. Do you want the real low down on this story, dear readers? The mother who slapped one woman (the beer-drinking woman) and kicked another in the chest is a second degree blackbelt in Tae-Kwon-Do. The slap was actually a "one-punch" which put the beer-drinking woman on the ground. The kick in the chest of the third woman was a roundhouse kick (a la Chuck Norris). All three women were sisters! This was their mother's wake.....
Now you know why I've moved to Big Sky Country!
[This is a brand new newspaper which I've been mulling over starting for some time now. My decision to run for Congress made the decision to start my newspaper easier. I intend to bring fun tidbits from RL and the eRepublik world here for your consumption. I will also use this outlet to publish my voting record if my bid for Congress is a success.]
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Comments
LOL. Thanks for the article.