Join the new world

*Paid Actor*
My anxiety use to be too much to handle. But then, I tried Lunitall.
Now, I have an Art Major and I vacation in the Caribbean. Look at these pictures of me water skiing.

*Disclaimer*
Some people saw improvements. Some people committed suicide. Most people experienced unintended side effects. Ask your doctor....

---

*Ambiguous Voice*
We interrupt this program, to bring you the latest breaking news.

*Linda*
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Linda Vanderbooben.

*Dick*
And I'm Richard Cranium.

*Linda*
A man has climbed to the top of a 10 story building and is threatening to throw himself to the ground, if his demands are not met.

*Dick*
That's right, Linda. We now take you live with our correspondent, Sherin Peter's
Tell us how it's going, Sherin.

*Sherin*
We are live with what appears to be a man that is desperately seeking attention. He says that he will jump off this building, if the Socialist Freedom Party doesn't elect him as their Party President. We will now encourage his deranged obsession, in order to draw ratings.

*Jimmy Cincinnati*
I'M TELLING YOU; YOU BETTER STAY BACK! I DON'T HAVE ANY PATIENCE LEFT!
YALL BETTER ELECT ME AS PARTY PRESIDENT OR YOU'RE GOING TO BE HOSING ME OFF THE SIDEWALK!

*Phil Harmony*
We can come up with a plan to get you in office. You've got to get back from that ledge. You might lose your balance.

*Max Hanz*
You have so much to live for. There's no reason to do this.

*Jimmy Cincinnati*
Nah, man! This is where I stay until everyone agrees to vote for me.

*Hoss1965*
We'll vote for you, but you have to survive until the election. Now, get back from the edge.

*Phil Harmony*
That's right! Just quit acting insane.

*Jimmy Cincinnati*
I'm going to move away from the ledge but I'll need everyone to stand back from me. We'll need to discuss a plan, right away or I'm a pancake.

Just as I stepped away from the ledge, Officer Archetypal yelled, "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" Then, he shot me with his stun gun.
I fell back and tumbled off the ledge. On the way down, I hit the back of my head hit the window ledge. I pitched forward, into the power lines and got jolted into a yard with two vicious dogs. The dogs proceeded to maul me.


To be Continued...