Nith's Hammer!

Day 834, 13:59 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Nithraldur

I said I would, and here it is…the next edition of the Nith’s Hammer! Though, this time it will be a very special edition since well, you all know it, I’ve been asked to run for the big office myself this time. Why? I don’t know, people seem to think I had to do this, the party felt the same way, so hey… here goes.

In this edition, I will actually be grilling myself, along with my fellow candidates and honourable men. Ironic, hu? He who wields the Hammer will hit his own fingers. Today is the day. I will try and keep this as neutral as before. Granted, this will be hard, and very tempting to add some campaign into it because, after all, we’re all trying to win. Nonetheless, I will still do my best to keep it nice and ‘clean’, in a Hammer sort of speak.

First up, yours truly, Nith!
Finally coming out of the woodwork are we? I mean seriously, how long have you been out of rotation for either the High Office or Congress? I know, you told everyone you had enough of it but still..what makes you think you are allowed to run this time? Yeah yeah, you weren’t in congress because you are in the IDF and want to accompany them overseas, but really, this isn’t such a good excuse either. You can still run the Na Fianna while being in congress, can you not? Yes you can, you’d just have your overseas movement impaired. Is that such a bad thing? Can’t you offer Ireland something more than just an international grunt? You’ve let yourself down a bit here, perhaps work this out for next month?

Are you alive on the forums? I know you’ve heard this so many times but I’ll go ahead and say it again. You don’t really have that much forum posts now do ya. Would you call yourself a ‘watcher’ like someone else tried to pull off? I hope you don’t, because you see how well that one turned out. People might even start to think you are inactive, were it not for your daily hours of online time both ingame and on the IRC. You’ve saved your own ass there pretty much, but really, can’t you spend more time on the forum, portraying your voice a bit more? If you are so experienced, why not help the younger ones out? Something you will have to remedy soon, don’t ya think?

I hope you don’t think that you’re all high and mighty running your monthly Hammer article, because frankly, you’re not. You’re just a common citizen like the rest of us. Okay you might be in the military, but that’s it. You’re in luck that the people of Ireland actually like this little piece of writing, else you’d have forced yourself in the role of social pariah by now. Luckily for you this isn’t the case and you’re even allowed to run for President, how about that? Can’t you start being nice to everyone? I’ve read you wish to keep your mind open to all points of view, even those of your opposition. A very nice thing, if you can pull it off. Judging by your Hammer articles, you don’t hold back and stand your ground. I’m thinking that this will be a source of problems in the future, if what you said was even true. Time will have to show I guess, but we’re watching you.

And last but not least, I’ve heard from several sources, authenticated and reliable sources, that you will even be away next month? How long will this be? The men are telling me that it will be a total of 4 days. What makes you think you can get away with this? You’re leaving the people of Ireland ‘alone’ for a couple of days! You better hope that you have your things in order by then and that your VP can run the country. You do have a set of orders ready for when this happens? I hope for you that the people of Ireland have that much confidence in you, that they will neglect this ‘little’ intermezzo and will still vote for you. You might argue, our President this month has been away much, much longer in total… right, you’ve got me there, but look at it this way, was this month really that successful? It wasn’t too awful, but more could have been accomplished. Think this could be partly due to her being away for a while? Who knows, time will tell, if the people vote for you.

Your campaigns are always way too ambitious. No way will you be able to realise them. I’m sure you know this too. I’m rooting for you that you know that setting these ambitious goals will probably stir some critics to start writing about you. I just hope, for your sake, that they think about it the same way you do. Ambitious goals require effort and ideals, easy goals require a coach potato.

I’m sure there’s more, but writing in third person about myself just feels really awkward. I hope you can all appreciate this piece of irony thus far, and I will leave it at this, it’s pretty long compared to some before. There you go, I’ve been my own critic. Self – knowledge is the beginning of all wisdom.

For you, mister Nithraldur…



JohnSmith 2K9, the man living in the past
One thing that’s been bugging me, is that you write about yourself like you are the President of Ireland. Let me set this straight. You are a candidate, not a President. Talking like this about yourself sets more bad then good blood. It’s extremely cocky and arrogant and well, if you know these Irish, being pompous does not sway votes.

I know that my writing isn’t superb, nor that my English is of the highest standards. But I have an excuse. It’s not my native language. You on the other hand are Irish, and still make those blatantly obvious simple mistakes that even I can see. I know there are disorders like this in the world, I don’t want to tackle those or ‘insult’ you with them, but that’s just the way I am, I like an articulate President that does his best to make his informational articles a nice read. What I’ve seen coming from your pen, often hurts my eyes and simply sounds bad. I’m sorry – well not really -, but if you are to play a role on the international scene, especially with the USA and the UK bordering us – both English speaking nations – then I would demand that our President at least knows how to write. I wouldn’t want our country to have the image of an alphabetical caveman. I know I’m not perfect, but I stand by my little excuse.

You claim that you are ready to lead Ireland, that you are qualified and good enough to do it. Let’s see, shall we.. 290 days old. That’s like 2,5 times less then that other guy running for President, Nithraldur. So experience-wise, you’ve lost there. This other guy also has like 3 (4) Presidential terms under his belt. You also say that you would be the first Irish President in a long time. May I remind you, you probably don’t know this since well, we’ve been playing this game much longer than you, but we’ve already had an Irish President. Just to clarify.

What stands out in your little manifestos, is that you wish to increase spending on a lot of fields. Increase spending… while in one of your first paragraphs, you say that Ireland’s revenue is way too low. How in god’s name are you going to increase spending, while you know that we don’t make enough money? Sure you are going to impose more taxes. Taxes on the common man. The population of Ireland is nowhere near large and active enough to bring in the needed extra funds to increase spending on all the fields you have mentioned. There just isn’t. I almost thought you were going to say you support Lambda. That would have been a nice chuckle.

Forum posts. You seem to like this one don’t ya. Sure oh, you can gloat, I have the most posts on the forum since Digits. There’s one major difference though. There’s talking, and then there’s talking. Some of us don’t make many posts, but when they say something, it’s right on the money and actually helps the debate further. Posting irrelevant things, or just outing criticism without anything in return, or simply making a post saying ‘Yes’ does not cut it. That way anyone would be able to go about posting 2 word responses, whilst then proclaiming to the common Irish who don’t check the forums that often, that you are the most active man alive. Be warned, this isn’t the case.

There’s plenty more, but I’ll leave it at this.

For you, mister Smith…


How many, John?

And last, mister Dubh...
What can I say about this candidate that I haven’t already stated in my previous edition of the Hammer???

Let’s see, I’ve covered the lack of any Hard Worker medals. You might argue that this in itself does not say much of anything, and you may be right. However, one thing that it would sing to me, clear as a JayBird, if I were an eager and avid voter researching my spectrum of candidates, is that there seems to be a lack of dedication to actually achieving even a simple goal. Ambition is great, mister Dubh, but you must also be able to prove that ambition with tangible, measurable results… Pics, or it didn’t happen.

In the previous edition of the Hammer, I did touch upon your breadth of military experience, or lack thereof, but I did not expand. I shall do so now, because it has direct bearing and implications for the direction of the country that you so desperately want to lead. At the time of publication of the last Hammer, you had accrued a grand total of 269 fights, an average of just over 1, across your entire eExistence. It is now approximately 30 days later, and I am in melancholy to observe that even during your break from the Dáil, you did not attempt by any great measure to improve your fighting experience, and have raised your battling average a mere 6%, if quantified mathematically.

It may be presumptuous of me to believe that a candidate who purports to have goals of re-working the nation into a militaristic powerhouse should, in fact, have more experience than just over one battle a day. Again, you might say that this conveys nothing of your true qualities as a politician or statesmen, but I say, “Nay.” It speaks to the heart of the matter; military states are not run by politicians, they are run by militarists - and militarists have military experience.

In point of fact, your paltry record of achievement in war is rivaled only by that of your esteemed protégé, mister Boru. If you combine the military experience that you both have acquired since your eBirths, your average actually drops by almost 40%. This is not the way to set a standard for respect among the world’s true military powers, is it? Not that I’m trying to impugn mister Boru in any way, as he is not under scrutiny here, but as you both claim credit to the much-vaunted Project Lambda, it goes without saying that a leader’s image is shaped in part by those he chooses to surround him/herself with. And the image I see is thus:



There you go people, another issue of the Hammer. Let loose the trolls, I know you all want to. Also know, that like in previous editions, this doesn’t affect me in any way. This is as neutral as possible. Excuse me if it’s not up to par when in comparing with a previous piece. I think it’s fairly just..

Sincerely


Nithraldur