Join the new world

That's it, I've had enough of this. Why does every new guy have to make a newspaper saying hello? This is ridiculous. I will now clarify what newspapers are for, ok?

First of all, a newspaper (Sanskrit: पृथु, Pṛthu, lit. "large, great, important, abundant") is a method of communication between a newspaper director guy, and you, the sand people of Pakistan (Dio bless our sand in all it's forms to the highest heights, amen). As you all know, sand is great and awesome because it is a naturally occurring granular material composed of finely divided rock and mineral particles.
Yes, that's right. It's made of finely divided rock and PURE AWESOME! That is why Pakistan is so amazing! What? You didn't know that by now? Get the fuck out of my country you you you you swede. >😐

Anyway, back to newspapers. Newspapers are also very popular amongst Swedes but they cannot read correctly since their eyes are so small and their snouts are too big, thus making them incapable of even reading let alone holding a newspaper. Instead they like to roll in the mud and watch re-runs of Jerry Springer. Yes, re-runs. Newspapers [this is the official term used by geologists] range in diameter from 0.0625 (or 1⁄16 mm) to 2 millimeters.

How else can you use a newspaper? Let me tell you:
Newspapers are often a principal component of concrete!
It is the principal component in glass production!
You can turn it into a PLANE! I am not kidding.

Thank you for your attention, this was William Walker from Copocabana beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.