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---- REVISIONIST HISTORY ALERT. Scotch-Ulster Unionists may find the following article offensive. You have been warned ----

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I wanted to tell you a bit about the four great nations in the British Isles right now: England, Wales, Meath, and Eire.

Eire
Ireland stretches along the western shores of Hibernia and Britannia: from the ancient mercantile splendour of the capital, southern Corcaigh, one of the mightiest and westernmost ports in Europe, to the hardy cottagers in Orkney, the windswept northern isles. The Irish are a proud maritime nation whose clannai settled most of the smaller islands in antiquity, spreading Christianity and preserving knowledge, and the large eIrish diaspora worldwide through missionary groups like the ICA reflects this heritage. There are almost as many saints in Eire as there are days in the year, but the union of Ireland and Scotland is best represented by Colmcille / St Columba, the patron saint of Eire. The Irish do not swear fealty to King Woldy, who reportedly grumbles about the need for boring mutual respect, and the nation has its own Daíl & political system. The largest cities such as Govanna Gael (Glasgow) and Bealfirste (Belfast) are in the northern archipelagoes. The flag of eIre-land is a tricolor, green for the Celtic southwest and orange for the Scots origin northeast, joined by white for peace.
Capital: Corcaigh, County Cork
Regions: 6
Flags: - Irish Tricolour
- The Cross of St Columba

England
England's green and pleasant lands have suffered much foreign occupation in recent years, leading to a great xenophobia and smallmindedness across the land that is grounded in personal strife and spiritual jihad. The English people are devout, hardy, and steadfast, whose nation includes the wild borders of Berwickshire in the north, the great Lincolnshire oilfields, and the intensively farmed Yorkshire Moors. Many cities exist, from ports like Newcastle and Liverpool, to places of pilgrimage like Canterbobury and Bobwinchester. London is a very populous city, nicknamed "Aluminopolis" for its many skyscrapers of glass and chrome reflecting the strip mines and foundries in the slums of Southwark. It is said that the river Thames runs black not from the refuse of the poor and toxic slag, but from the blood of the occupiers, the Quebecois French who died during the last great seige. The patron saints of England are George the Dragon-slayer and Edmund the Martyr, both of whom serve the deity Bob Boblo who is reputed to come from these lands.
Capital: Bury St. Edmunds, East of England
Regions: 7
Flags: - Three Crowns (sometimes represented as lions) of St Edmund
- The Cross of St George

Wales
The Welsh are the indigineous and Romanized people of Britain, as opposed to the largely Anglo-Saxon England. Many ancient and diverse kingdoms make up the Welsh state, united only by a strange language with no vowels. Wales is rich in mineral wealth, with many tin, gold, coal, and uranium mines, and the seas off southern Kernow are the best whaling waters in the world thanks to the Gulf Stream current. The key cities are Aberystwyth, Caerdydd, Bristol, Exeter, Plymouth and Birmingham, and the Royal Welsh regiment maintains huge stockpiles of weapons, tanks, and manpower at the great strongholds of Merthyr Tydfil and Caerlegion. The Welsh are generally a calm and jocular people, though outbreaks of political extremism are not unknown in Caergryddin or Johnobrowton. The modern slogan of Wales is "Not Always Raining", and the patron saints are Piran and Alban.
Capital: Swansea, Wales
Regions: 3
Flags: - St Alban's Saltire
- St Piran's Cross

Meath
The ancient kingdom of Mide is one of the historic 5 kingdoms of the Irish landmass, so named for its middle eastern position on the island. The 5 kingdoms, of course, being Ulster, Munster, Connacht, Osraige and Midhe. Of Ireland's 32 counties, Meath consists of Monaghan, Cavan, Louth, Dublin, Meath, and parts of Wicklow, Kildare, and Westmeath. The cosmopolitan city of Dublin is considered the most cultural in the United Kingdom, with many bars, restaurants, and museums overlooked by the Palatinate, the papal palace for the Bobloist faith. Beyond the Great Pale and the tourists that walk its route, there are golden fields of barley and rye that supply the liquor factories, vast orchards around Louth, and sights such as the Hill of Tara and the Palace of the Boyne. The Irish terrorist organistaion, the Orange Order of Scotland and Ulster, sponsors annual parades to commemorate the ancient v1 Battle of the Boyne in Louth county, and Meath is still recovering from a period of civil disorder known as the "Troubles" fought between Christian Orangeists and the majority Bobloist Dubhers. The patron saints of Meath are St Kevin and Bob Boblo.
Capital: Dublin, County Dublin
Regions: 2
Flags: - Sigil Towers of St Kevin
- Royal Majesty of Midhe