New Study Reveals 97.8% of eUSA citizens do not live in eUSA

Day 3,443, 09:53 • Published in USA USA • by NickSentowski

According to a recent study by TADD Group, less than two thousand of eUSA's nearly eighty-seven thousand citizens reside within the borders of the country, despite holding 8 colonies located in Ukraine in addition to their original stake of 50 territories on the native homeland.

"I think there's a confusion among the citizens of eUSA," Roderick James Stenton, Professor of Human Studies at the University of Southern California. "There is this unexplainable trend of millennials to not understand that while Donald Trump is the leader of the United States of America, he has no control or influence over eUSA. This key demographic has left to pursue brighter futures, without filing the proper paperwork to release their citizenship.

Other analysts claim the problem may be more directly connected to current eUSA President Derphoof, who himself resides in Romandie Switzerland, and is commonly quoted as saying "Why be a king, when you can be a god?"

"I hear he scored over 35 million damage for Canada. Not my President!" James Leftersfeld of Oklahoma continues, "59.24% of the country did NOT vote for this Sweed. Why is he allowed to be running things?

-fnyn