My Top Stories [2]
Day 1,960, 19:47
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Published in United Kingdom 
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by
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by Fritz179
Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has announced from the balcony of Castel Gandolfo the excommunication of Pope Francis.
The announcement occurred on Holy Saturday and it was followed by the mandate that the newly-installed Pontiff vacate the Vatican State immediately and "...get his Holy Butt back to Argentina."
Nobody is going to kick me out without a fight. I'm German after all!
According to sources inside Castel Gandolfo, Benedict was upset that he received an eviction notice and was accused of a gluttonous life-style all at Papal expense.
Meanwhile, back at the Vatican, Francis, while still disinfecting his hands after cleaning the criminals' feet on Holy Thursday, was heard to order the mobilization of the Swiss Guard.
It is believed that the new Pontiff plans to lead the Vatican troops into the Roman countryside and lay seige to Castel Gandolfo.
Military experts believe that Benedict will not be able to resist the onslaught since all he has at his command are an 85-year-old cook, a 68-year-old gardiner, and 5 goats.
Kim Jung-Un Willing To Spare LA For Laker Tickets Next To Jack Nicholson
If anyone wonders why Dennis Rodman was granted access to North Korean President Kim Jung-Un, we now know the answer.
After making headlines yesterday with his warning that his nuclear missiles are bore-sighted on Los Angeles, Washington and Austin, Texas, his emissary to the US, Dennis Rodman, announced that he received a twitter message from his new buddy stating that he would spare the City of Angels if Dennis could round up Laker courtside seats next to Jack Nicholson.
Rodman, who claims to have access to John Kerry, the newly appointed, slack-jawed Secretary of State, appears to have the credentials to help pull this off. Although one of his tatoos in the middle of his forehead says, "Don't call me unless you want sex," he said that he would answer a call from Mr. Kerry if it were a national emergency.
In the meantime, back in the White House, President Obama has his Secret Service agents posted outside his March Madness situation room with a sign that says, "PLEASE DO NOT BOTHER BARACK WHILE HE IS CHANGING HIS SELECTIONS."
Thankyou for Reading, I would just love it if you could vote and subscribe and maybe even shout it so people can have a laugh during this time of War.
Thanks,
Fritz179
The announcement occurred on Holy Saturday and it was followed by the mandate that the newly-installed Pontiff vacate the Vatican State immediately and "...get his Holy Butt back to Argentina."
Nobody is going to kick me out without a fight. I'm German after all!
According to sources inside Castel Gandolfo, Benedict was upset that he received an eviction notice and was accused of a gluttonous life-style all at Papal expense.
Meanwhile, back at the Vatican, Francis, while still disinfecting his hands after cleaning the criminals' feet on Holy Thursday, was heard to order the mobilization of the Swiss Guard.
It is believed that the new Pontiff plans to lead the Vatican troops into the Roman countryside and lay seige to Castel Gandolfo.
Military experts believe that Benedict will not be able to resist the onslaught since all he has at his command are an 85-year-old cook, a 68-year-old gardiner, and 5 goats.
Kim Jung-Un Willing To Spare LA For Laker Tickets Next To Jack Nicholson
If anyone wonders why Dennis Rodman was granted access to North Korean President Kim Jung-Un, we now know the answer.
After making headlines yesterday with his warning that his nuclear missiles are bore-sighted on Los Angeles, Washington and Austin, Texas, his emissary to the US, Dennis Rodman, announced that he received a twitter message from his new buddy stating that he would spare the City of Angels if Dennis could round up Laker courtside seats next to Jack Nicholson.
Rodman, who claims to have access to John Kerry, the newly appointed, slack-jawed Secretary of State, appears to have the credentials to help pull this off. Although one of his tatoos in the middle of his forehead says, "Don't call me unless you want sex," he said that he would answer a call from Mr. Kerry if it were a national emergency.
In the meantime, back in the White House, President Obama has his Secret Service agents posted outside his March Madness situation room with a sign that says, "PLEASE DO NOT BOTHER BARACK WHILE HE IS CHANGING HIS SELECTIONS."
Thankyou for Reading, I would just love it if you could vote and subscribe and maybe even shout it so people can have a laugh during this time of War.
Thanks,
Fritz179
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Comments
Voted, good read as always Mr Fritz