Join the new world

Sup my fellow citizens, I would like to take a brief moment to detail my Friday night to you. I hope you will get more enjoyment out of my pain than I did.

Theme Music

The time was 2:00 AM and it was last call for alcohol at the bar. Having naturally consumed a plethora of alcohol throughout the night, I was in no condition to drive home. I tried to find a lady who would "take me home", but the fact that I had wet myself and was slurring my words probably did me no favors. Just as I was about to begin the five mile trek home, two men obviously intrigued my inebriated state offered to take me home. I had often been warned about accepting rides from strangers, but the five mile walk was not looking good at the moment and I had no cash to call a cab. Despite them having creepy pedophile mustaches, I accepted their offer.



Nothing creepy going on here

We left the bar and then walked to their van, which of course had no windows and I was pretty sure I had seen it on several serial killer documentaries. However, I was drunk and vulnerable so my instincts were not the best.



The shady meter is officially off the charts

Once in the van, they offered my some free candy bars, and offered me a drink. Not one to turn down a free beverage and some candy I accepted. As soon as I took my first bite of the bar and sip of my drink, I realized that I had made a huge mistake. After that things got real blurry, and I don't remember much. I woke up this morning with a sore bottom, and my wallet was gone. It was the 2nd worst Friday night I have ever had.



But who can say no to free candy right?

So the moral of the story is, just walk home even if someone promises you free candy. Now if you will excuse me, I must go ice my sore bottom.

Stay thirsty and be wise my friends,

Sir Gulden Draak