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Many peasant have recently asked me “Why are you, our supreme overlord, running for president? Aren’t you already our King?.



Well of course I am your King/overlord/savior. But someone told me, late one evening, that it doesn't’ matter how great a king is, when he doesn’t have “Real” power. So I thought to myself, “maybe he’s right”. So I started to think, so a half box of tampons and one concussion later, I found my answer “ I have to run for president, why didn’t anyone tell me that before”.


Well.... Dear peasants of Norway
I am addressing you at this crucial time because I just found out that one vote doesn't give the 5 gol..... I mean the great honor of being your Dictator.
I know that a lot of fine people is also running for president against me ( I wounder why, I hope they’re not trying to beat me or anything), and you might think to yourself, why should I give my vote to this sexy beast.
Well... I (unfortunately) can’t force you to vote for me, and with my luck I might even loose this election, but if you want someone that is active, Norwegian, sexy, has long hair, not a girl, has the charm of 10 Rape Potatoes and don’t have any kind of experience leading a country, well then I am you man.

Christopher “ The original Rape Potato” Moe

Hard working (yeah right)
Funny ( don’t make me laugh)
Sexy (don’t get me started)
Norwegian (mmkay)
Christian ( hey, this is not America)
Not religious ( wait....What?)




I might also add that I have found myself a sexy and smart cabinet of awesome people to help this country, and they are:


Vice overlord Andreas Moe


Don’t get me started on this badboy here. This is the man that introduced me to this world, so you all have to thank (hate) him for bringing me up in this world. What can you say about this awesome dude, well... He is a master of making awesome pictures and he has helped me to write almost every article I have ever written. He is hard working ( if someone is pushing him), and he is cleaver. Funny too.
He is the wind beneath my wings ( no homo)




[Ministry of fang Fishing] Morten Asphaug:

He is a real life friend of mine, and i recruited to this world. Maybe he is the next me, who knows, right... Well he has already showed his use in this world. After just 10 days he received his recruitment medal, awesome right. And i would be a silly goose if did not mention that he is a master of fang fishing. I mean it’s silly how awesome he is at fang fishing, i mean, come on, leave some fang fishing for us to fang fishing to.... Sigh....
He sure has a bright future ( no homo)

White hands. Black face. How can it not be awesome.




[Ministry of Information] Gladun:

What can you say about our most beloved Nazi.... uh.... He is the kind of white pride Romanian that we just can’t stop loving and give free hugs. Well, I must correct something, he dosen’t share all the Nazi views, he is more of the center kind of guy, but hey, we still love him, right....
I have trusted upon him the minister of information, and that’s not a easy task folk, so if you have something to contribute, please don’t hesitate to ask him.
I trust that he will do his job well, and i know that this person alone can prove some of the points “some people” have made against us, to be wrong
Make me proud Gladun.




[The Grim Reaper] Karl Reveru😛

It was a sad day for Norway when the news about Karl hit ut all a cold winter night. This awesome character had so much to give Norway, if only he had more time, a real shame indeed. Well his spirit will always be with us, and that’s why he is in charge of seeing that our dead will be treated with respect.
We still hope for a comeback to happen Karl XoXo ( no homo)




[Ministry of Defence] Tommy Skaue:

Tommy Skaue is a native norwegian who has played this game for a long time. He was president back in 2010 and active in the Binary Party. He has pledged his allegiance to me, and you should expect to see him ALLOT, even if you like it or not. MOHAHAHAHAH.... I will like it ❤ i know that much ❤.... Unfortunately i don’t know a whole lot about this awesome oldie, but my birthday wish was that it was going to change in the comming days ❤ ( no homo, i think not xoxo)





[Ministry of Offence] Taulen:

It shouldn’t come as a suprice that Taulen is one of the best friends of Norway. He loves Norway and Norway loves him. You might be confused and say, duhhhh Taulen haz nøtt Norwegian Citizenship so he iz enemy. You couldn't be further from the truth, If you can handle the truth, then you can continue reading. He is in fact in charge of our national factories, and that’s why he is south of the border, i hope that it didn’t confuse you...
Taulen has a lot of experience and i sure hope that he can give a real effort in organizing our army, and please, don’t make the job hard for him, cause i have something that he sure could use his time on getting hard ( no homo) and ( no pun intended)










[Ministry of Foreign Affairs] Sir Greggory Groda:

Hahahahahahahaha. His name is Sir Greggory Groda, but he isn’t a nobleman yet. HAHAHAHAHA. Well, you sure have your opportunity now mister, because you are the face of Noway. You can almost say that he is the mascot of Norway, and his job consist of having late night talks with power figures from other country's. I sure hope you can use some of your awesome skills to get us some allies, cause we sure could need it ( no pun intended)





Vice minister of Foreign Affairs Blue Cephalopod

A cephalopod is any member of the molluscan class Cephalopoda. These exclusively marine animals are characterized by bilateral body symmetry, a prominent head, and a set of arms or tentacles (muscular hydrostats) modified from the primitive molluscan foot. Fishermen sometimes call them inkfish, referring to their common ability to squirt ink. The study of cephalopods is a branch of malacology known as teuthology.
And you think that he is not qualified.... SHAME ON YOU....
I sure hope that you and Greggory can work long and hard together ( no pun intended)



[Ministry of Religion] “ The dark prince himself” Henrich 1

This is one bad dude, not bad in you facy pance christian way, but in the awesome Satan kinda way. YEAH... You heard me... Henrich is the kind of guy that enjoys long walks on the beach and to drink children's blood in the night. He has admitted to have a crush on Satan, and a rumor is going that he is saving his virginity for him.
He might have a little problem at the moment writing some of his awesome articles, but don’t you worry your little peasant head about that. In time, they will return.
We are waiting in anticipation Henrich.... ❤ ( no homo)






Wow, with a gang like this, how can we not succeed .... ( insert laugh here)

But all jokes aside....
This is a great gang of people, and i have really high hopes for our future. So if you can find just one word in this article that you liked or agreed upon, then give your vote to me, your beloved King/overlord and soon to be president?
Only you can give me the last title. Please give it to me. I really want it. I can i please have it.... HOW MANY TAMPONS MUST I EAT TO SHOW MY WORTH TO YOU??? A LAWDY LAWD GIVE ME STRENGTH


I sure would love to have myself as king, wouldn't you?







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Kermit the Frog

It ain't easy being green bitch.