Madness? Craziness? This is Denmark!
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by Grev Per
DET HVIDE HUS, DENMARK,
Hello Friends, this is your President with an update on your nation!
Recently I have discovered that an Indonesian moving company has encroached upon our markets. They are threatening the business of our Danish patriots in The Aviators, and they are threatening Danish sovereignty.
Denmark must keep all of it's patriots. We cannot allow them to be tempted to leave in order to betray us to the aggressors to the North. The Imperialism of the monkeys and drag queens to the north (that's Sweden and Norway separately) must not be allowed.
Therefore I have set a bill in place to raise the import taxes on moving tickets to 500%. WE WILL GIVE THEM NOTHING, AND TAKE FROM THEM EVERYTHING!
Of course this does not forbid them from leaving. What it does mean is that for every citizen who wishes Denmark, they must pay 600 DKK, 125 DKK will go to the Indonesian country, and 575 will go to the Danish government.
In other news our scientists have discovered that citizens of the countries north of Denmark cannot discern between fact and fiction. Which explains why both Norway and Sweden completely shut down when the film "Reptilicus" was aired, as they started preparing for a gigantic flying dragon to destroy Stockholm and Oslo.
As a part of cultural aid the government has air-dropped 7,000 educational programs called "Hooked On Phonics!", these kits will teach the Norwegian and Swedish people how to read, easy! Soon after that we will start dropping the simplified works of Hans Christian Anderson. This will include the following simplified works:
"The Snow Queen: (Simplified to, Icy-Bitch Queen Bad!)"
"The Little Mermai😛
(Fish Girl Wants Legs and Man!)"
"The Emperor's New Clothes (Emperor Gets Bad Deal from H&M)"
"The Ugly Duckling (Hello I'm from Stockholm and moved to Denmark)"
Now for an excerpt from Swedish State TV: All Swedes are exactly like this, and equally annoying!
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=0SAA5IYAp6c&my=1[/youtube]
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Comments
Well I for one voted to pass this bill.
Du siger selv at vi har brug for wellness, så måske burde du tænke dig om 2 gange før du bortviser en sådan chance, det er jo ikke fordi de skaber nogen konkurrence når der alligevel er så få huse.
Daniel, you\'re in the matrix!
Scherf, and what do you want me to do? New people join every day. Go offer them jobs. It\'s not my fault that Phillip tries harder. I have no idea how he can afford to pay a total of 20 DKK a day in salaries. But I\'ve told him that he has too many. And he\'s offered to give away one or two. I declined, I told him send one to Zaira. If you want the other one, send a PM to Phil.
You want employees, go get them. I agree we need more employees. But as an entrepeneur you gotta earn it too.
Moving tickets har INTET med wellness at gøre. Så måske burde du tænke dig om 2 gange før du udtaler dig?
Grev, you live in a fantasy world and you make up other people\'s opinion about you! The best way to describe you is to say that you and the propaganda machine New China is the same. As long as you are the leader of Denmark, I will continue to train in the Swedish army just so that I might get at chance to destroy your fantasy world.
DA, maybe you should sit back and examine your life. Isn\'t it kinda sad that a guy who writes some articles gets you so worked up you feel the need to comment on each article in some really lame attempt at harassing me.
\"ooh he said Danish pigs!\" what is this, the 1920\'s?
Your really pissing off lots of people Grev Per, why would you give our country such a bad reputaion? Why do you hate upon Denmark?
And honestly, you´re the one calling people names without reason so stop it...
Your ignorance is hurting our reputaion, negative stereotypes can be found everywhere, sure, but just because youre stupid enough thinking they are true dosnt mean you have to make everyone hate us. Just stop it, Denmark is better of without you!
Grev Per, jeg nævnte intet om ansatte denne gang, jeg synes personligt bare at det kunne være dejligt med et hus, hvis du ikke lukkede de udenlandske firmaer ude af et marked hvor der for det første er monopol, og for det andet ingen konkurrence indtil videre.
Grev Per, I do what I want with my life. I happen to be very interrested in politics in real life, so these conversations are just fun, because they have no real meaning. Of course, non of my threats are really real, just that, I want to have some fun in exchange of all the serious debates.