Join the new world

Dear Citizens of eCanada,

This is my first message to you as the Canadian Progressive Fronts Administrative Head of Lollipops or AHOL (pronounced A-HOLE). Before you disregard this article as political propaganda please note that this is an IMPORTANT message that affects us all, whether you’re a member of the CPF, DAL, CSD, CPP, CNC or any other Canadian party.

This incident started innocently enough on October 30th 2009 when the members of the CPF were relaying to me their questions about the almighty Lollipop. It was going all fine and dandy till Exalted Droid raised the question “which colour of Lollipop should be supported by the CPF?”

Many different colours were thrown around; green, blue, purple etc. but it was obviously just meaningless chatter brought on by members furiously competing for a high post count.

This was a question that could not be answered lightly.

In preparation I made a 4 day trek to the secret CPF Oracle were members go to gain insight and guidance.



I spend many more days at the Oracle contemplating….. MANY DAYS!

I wanted the colour to represent us as a country, a party and as average citizens.

Finally I had come to my decision.

The colour would be that of the garment that keeps our most vital organ snug, warm and dry, the garment that we all wear together and the garment that none of us would think of leaving our bedrooms without

Our Tighty-Whitie’s!!!!!

I dropped my pants and examined my Tighty-Whitie’s and seen……. that they were Red.

Well then red Lollipops will be supported by the CPF!!!!

This was my response to the people of the CPF…..

(open pictures in a new tab to read them)

How naïve was I……………

It took not even 12 hours for Acacia Mason to respond


(open pictures in a new tab to read them)

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that this man has a burning passion for Tighty-Whitie’s.

I again went back to the Oracle to ponder…………..




How could I have made such a big mistake?

How did my Tighty-Whitie’s become….. RED?

Why does it burn when I pee??

All these questions would be answered in time (except for the burning when I pee, my doctor still has to get back to me on that).

In fact they would be answered a day later by PimpDollaz


(open pictures in a new tab to read them)

Ahhhhh!

Now it all makes sense!

(Well except for the part where PimpDollaz was at my house, I’m not sure why he comes over so
often but my mom sure likes him).

Now that we had an answer we needed a solution.

Acacia Mason came to the rescue again.


(open pictures in a new tab to read them)

So without further ado…..

Canadian Progressive Front’s Administrative Head of Lollipops Official Guide to Washing Tighty-Whitie’s


Step 1. Remove Tighty-Whitie’s.

Step 2. Place Tighty-Whitie’s in the Official CPF Tighty-Whitie washer.*

Step 3. Hit the wash button.

Step 4. When the cycle finishes remove your Tighty-Whitie’s from the official CPF Tighty-Whitie Washer to the official Tighty-Whitie Dryer.

Step 5. Turn on your official CPF Dryer.

Step 6. When your Official CPF completes it cycle remove your Tighty-Whitie’s and enjoy!

*Do not place anything else in the washer with your Tighty-Whitie’s

I hope this tutorial has been helpful.
If anybody needs help setting up a Department of Lollipops in their party please feel free to contact me as I would be more than happy to assist you.

May you all live prosperous lives filled with white Tighty-Whitie’s!!!

Sincerely,
BenMartin
CPF AHoL