Locutus and Grimstone: Make it So

Day 1,750, 11:11 • Published in South Africa Sweden • by Jizzie McGuire

Hello friends, Borg, kitties, apes and other freaks. I come to you today with one message: a vote for Locutus is a vote for a stronger, more respected, and more prosperous eSA. You may be hearing all kinds of lies and exaggerations about his plans to scrap the Brazi Treaty and hurl us headlong into a devastating war, but that is not his plan nor is it the plan of the DB-PF. People who say those things do not know us or my long-time friend and brother from another mother, Locutus.

Loco is healthy and delicious!

Sure, Locutus may come off as a bit crazy to some, and it is no coincidence that I started calling him 'Loco' almost from the moment I met him over 4 years ago. However, what some may see as crazy I see as passionate. I don't know anyone in eSA or eR for that matter who cares more for his e-country and has shown it through his service in Congress and as Rico's VP, through his businesses that put country over profits, and in his prowess on the battlefield where he has fought well for eSA and her allies.

No one messes with Mi Vato Loco. He is cool and badass!

Loco would never throw all that away out of blind hatred for Brazil, but at the same time, he will not cower in their presence or grovel for their favor. He will negotiate with them on an equal playing field and garner respect for our country within and abroad. No longer will we feel like puppets to eBrazil under Loco, and if they go back on their deals with us, they will soon learn what it is to screw over eSouth Africans.

As my Hawaiian friends say, Loco Moco is da kine!

Loco is passionate, smart, and is also a good man and a family man, so you can rely on him to do what is right and honorable. He, like many of us old-timers, knows what it is like to lose our e-country, so he understands the consequences of rash and violent responses to foreign incursions and humiliation. None of his opponents have seen or been through what Loco has, so you can be sure that his experiences will guide his actions and will take us into the future with honor, security and respectability.

Tone-Loc is the funky cold Medina, beotches!

Oh and that big fat bald bastard Grimsey is running with him, so how can you not vote for Loco and the mighty Grimstone, who is one of the best presidents eSA has ever had? As Loco used to say before he was ASSimilate😛 make it so.

Make it so, number 1!