Ladies and Gentlemen,

Day 870, 12:46 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar
boys and girls, engineers and spies...


I am a Bobloist.

But I will not preach to you the word of Spam today, nor hope or messages of glory. Instead, I offer a grave warning to you, my brothers and sisters:

The very fabric of our society is under attack. Torn apart, desecrated, disregarded. Following the announcement yesterday by GLaDOS, Bobloists all around the world are being victimised and brutally repressed. The eUnited Kingdom has been officially a Bobloist nation for many months, since the declaration by Mr. Woldy; but for even longer than that Bobloism has been a cornerstone of the eUK's shining community. Offering refuge, forgiveness and hope even in the darkest of times.

Now it is I who comes to you for these things.

We have put up a united opposition, but it is not enough. The Dioists insist on hostility and show no signs of diplomacy or compromise, even to pacifists such ourselves.




But no more.

I, Pope Chicken-Caesar II, under the wisdom of our Lord Boblo and all His glory declare that there is to be a righteous crusade of justice.

We will no longer be the repressed masses. We will no longer stand by and watch our great nation be torn apart by the hounds of Hell itself.

My fellow brahs, pray today to Boblo for guidance and strength. Rise up, my friends. Take up arms and - side by side - we will purify this land, for tomorrow we purge the heathens!


"The eternal glory of Spam will shine forever through your soul and all shall know of your piety; for we are all brahs in the Lord Boblo's eyes."