Know Your Enemy: The Iranian
Day 742, 23:16
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Hari Michaelson
---Letter-From-The-Editor---
Americans come back to United States
That is all.
-Editor-on-the-Edge-
-Hari Michaelson
---
Another Handy Guide
As we continue on in our series regarding your enemies and what to know about them, we of course bring our gaze to the ever-trollable:
Iranian
It's a trap.
Strengths: If the Iranian forces have one element working in favor, it is truly their passion and intensity, a quality oftentimes described as "totally batshit insane" by onlookers. Truly, in any battle against or started by eMericans, eIndians, or anyone falling under the category of "Not eIranian", the Iranian people will not hesitate to commit an impressive amount of gold in the form of unecessary Q5 weapons and wellness packs. Additionally, Iranian forces both at home and abroad are well practiced in high-level forms of psychological warfare. By spamming enemy articles with comments written in translated, broken, non-sensical english, enemy readers find themselves unable to comprehend the words they are attempting to read, often resulting in fatal aneurysms at the base of the brain.
Pretty much this, but in text form.
Weaponry: Whining. The Iranian army, and indeed its entire citizenry are Grandmasters of the ancient martial arts of the "Open Letter". They use these mystic powers to seek out and crush all opposition in the New World, this article included. Editor's Note: inb4 ban
[img]http://canuckjihad.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/crybaby.png?w=300&h=425[/img]
Elite Iranian "Crybaby Corps."
Weaknesses: Trollable. Very.Very.Trollable. Oh, and despite their zeal, all Iranians suffer from a -6 movement speed token when confronted with Canadians.
Irate Iranians are Successful Troll's secret to success.
Kill-O-Meter Rating: 7 Angry Illegible Sentences/10
---
The Muckraker: Betchya can't read this article in 3 days time!
Americans come back to United States
That is all.
-Editor-on-the-Edge-
-Hari Michaelson
---
Another Handy Guide
As we continue on in our series regarding your enemies and what to know about them, we of course bring our gaze to the ever-trollable:
Iranian
It's a trap.
Strengths: If the Iranian forces have one element working in favor, it is truly their passion and intensity, a quality oftentimes described as "totally batshit insane" by onlookers. Truly, in any battle against or started by eMericans, eIndians, or anyone falling under the category of "Not eIranian", the Iranian people will not hesitate to commit an impressive amount of gold in the form of unecessary Q5 weapons and wellness packs. Additionally, Iranian forces both at home and abroad are well practiced in high-level forms of psychological warfare. By spamming enemy articles with comments written in translated, broken, non-sensical english, enemy readers find themselves unable to comprehend the words they are attempting to read, often resulting in fatal aneurysms at the base of the brain.
Pretty much this, but in text form.
Weaponry: Whining. The Iranian army, and indeed its entire citizenry are Grandmasters of the ancient martial arts of the "Open Letter". They use these mystic powers to seek out and crush all opposition in the New World, this article included. Editor's Note: inb4 ban
[img]http://canuckjihad.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/crybaby.png?w=300&h=425[/img]
Elite Iranian "Crybaby Corps."
Weaknesses: Trollable. Very.Very.Trollable. Oh, and despite their zeal, all Iranians suffer from a -6 movement speed token when confronted with Canadians.
Irate Iranians are Successful Troll's secret to success.
Kill-O-Meter Rating: 7 Angry Illegible Sentences/10
---
The Muckraker: Betchya can't read this article in 3 days time!
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Comments
Did I ever say that you were full of win?
Because I said it now
That means a lot Bro.
This article is p much win. :{3 <---moustache :3
Nice, very nice.
Vote.
Proud subscriber of the Muckraker
oooooh yeah!
firstpagemaxx
priceless!!!!"high-level forms of psychological warfare. By spamming enemy articles with comments written in translated, broken, non-sensical english, enemy readers find themselves unable to comprehend the words they are attempting to read, often resulting in fatal aneurysms at the base of the brain."
lol, especially at the Canada portion.
Oh, yeaaaaaaaaah.
"all Iranians suffer from a -6 movement speed token when confronted with Canadians."
That makes them kind of like the zombies in the original "Night of the Living Dead" movies. Does that mean we can push them all into a shopping mall and take care of them that way? Either as carrion or cheap labor?
(btw, in the most recent movie, they move much faster, so if Iranians are like that, I'd be much more apprehensive).
Priceless.
Go eUSA!