Jokes about Balkan nations
Eagean
Top Ten Reasons for being a Serb:
1. You are not a Croat.
2. Basketball team.
3. You can choose between several war criminals in Presidential elections.
4. You can enjoy the positive media coverage of your country when abroad.
5. You can fight 600 year-old battles against the Turks and their domestic
collaborators,
be convinced that it's happening right now, and not be entirely wrong.
6. You can always go to Greece and Cyprus and fear nothing.
7. Grilled meat and slivovitz.
8. You get to drink slivovitz and eat grilled meat even when under economic
sanctions.
9. You are the only European country which was bombed by NATO.
10.Every now and then you get to fly to the Hague at someone else's expense.
Top ten reasons for being a Croat:
1. You're not a Serb
2. Soccer team.
3. You get to pretend that your language is different from Serbian, although it's
really not.
4. Dubrovnik.
5. You get to dream about independent Croatia.
6. Every now and then you get to sing "Danke, Danke,Deutschland," and continue
to dream about independent Croatia.
7. You have a thousand-year culture of which no one has heard.
8. You have a democratically elected President who is not ashamed of being a
Croat.
9. The glorious World War Two past.
10.You have a thousand-year culture....
Top ten reasons for being Bosnian:
1. You can get asylum anywhere except in Serbia.
2. You can pretend that your state exists.
3. Kebab.
4. You can pretend that Sarajevo is a really cosmopolitan European city when you
know that it is not.
5. Great kebab.
6. You can be visited by Francois Mitterand, Bernard Henry-Levy,Susan Sontag, and
Bill Clinton and it still doesn't make a difference.
7. Free round-trip to any Moslem country.
8. You get to be bombed by a psychiatrist.
9. You can fly your flag in the UN but nowhere else.
10.Foreigners give you money and don't ask any questions.
Top ten reasons for being Slovenian:
1. You can speak the beautiful Slovene language and know that no one cares
except you.
2. You can feel superior to all former Yugoslavs.
3. You can drink after work.
4. You can pretend to live on the "sunny side of the Alps," although you
know it's not that sunny.
5. You can pretend that you are as good as any German while secretly enjoying
the fact that you are a Slav.
6. Good relations with Italy and Austria.
7. You can afford to be Yugo-nostalgic.
8. You can marry a Slovene and have Slovene children who speak Slovene.
9. You don't have to be ashamed when abroad.
10.No one bothers you because no one really cares.
Top ten reasons for being Macedonian:
1. You have to persue that your state exists.
2. You have to persue that your language is not Bulgarian or Serbian.
3. You have to persue that you are a descendant of Alexander the Great and piss off the Greeks.
4. You can sing Partisan songs about Tito and epic songs about Goce Delcev.
5. You get to be researched by foreign sociologists interested in your identity.
6. You don't have to work even when you have to work, because you don’t have a work.
7. You get to be cosmopolitan and spit on all the nationalists.
8. You can smuggle cigarettes to West Europe and live like a king.
9. You are the only country in the world with two names and two flags.
10. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon, and tobacco.
11.Everyone is interested in the stability of your country
except your neighbors.
12.You get to be sad and suffer while listening to folk music.
Top ten reasons for being Montenegrin:
1. You can be proud of your heroic past and not being conquered by the Turks for
500 years.
2. You can sing epic songs about your heroic past and not being conquered by the
Turks for 500 years.
3. You can think of Russia as your Mother, although Russia does not know you are
her son.
4. You can combine orthodoxy with Stalinism with love of Russia and still think
that you are better and more progressive than the Serbs.
5. Goat cheese, grilled lamb, and grappa.
6. You get to kill at least one person in a vendetta and defend your honor.
7. If you are a woman you can kill your husband and everyone knows why
you did it.
8. You can smuggle cigarettes to Italy and live like a king.
9. You don't have to work even when you have to.
10.You don't have to work....
Top ten reasons for being Albanian:
1. You can always swim to Italy.
2. You can choose between a president who stole your whole income, one who
killed all your relatives, or go fight the Serbs in Kosovo.
3. You can be proud of being from "the land of the eagle."
4. You can always swim to Italy.
5. You can take weapons from any army garrison and defend your honor.
6. You can get killed in a vendetta and be remembered as the
hero of the family.
7. You get to be called the poorest country in Europe.
8. You can live in the ecologically cleanest country in Europe.
Top ten reasons for being a Yugoslav:
1. You can be proud that you are neither a Serb, nor a Croat, nor a Slovene, nor
a Bosnian, nor a Macedonian, nor Montenegrin, nor an Albanian, although you
are one or more of the above.
2. You don't have to feel bad about being "Yugo-nostalgic".
3. You can have a husband/wife from any part of Yugoslavia and still
feel like the country never fell apart, especially if you are abroad.
4. You get to listen to Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, Slovenian, Macedonian,
Montenegrin, and even Albanian music and feel that it's quite OK.
5. You don't have to be ashamed of your Titoist past.
6. You can sing Partisan songs from World War Two or rock-and-roll from the
1980's.
7. You get to be cosmopolitan and spit on all the nationalists.
8. You get to be researched by foreign sociologists interested in your identity.
9. You are invited to speak about Yugoslavia at conferences abroad.
1. Parents take care of their son until he becomes an adult at 48.
2. You take a shower rarely, but when you do, it's for a short time and without soap
3. At 60, your wife has a bigger moustache than you do
4. You go to a disco to get drunk and pass out, not to have fun
5. When you cross a bridge, you never miss the chance to spit in the water below
6. When you step on somebody's foot, all you say is "Oops" (Opa)
7. You are convinced that any successful person is a drug dealer / with connections / thief / pimp, while you are always screwed up by fate and the government
8. When you have a loud party at home, you jump on the floor until the neighbor's lamps fall down. When he has a loud party, you call the police.
Comments
Jokes about Balkan nations[EAG]- http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/jokes-about-balkan-nations-2123523/1/20
v
hehehe
o7
Where is Bulgaria : )
The name Balkan as far as I know comes from the name of the biggest bulgarian mountain - Balkan (Stara Planina🙂
Siptari se ovdje nikako ne uklapaju,sa ovakvim krajem! Ovo je bila JugoSLAVIJA,a ne Jugoarnautska zemlja!
I da fale vam jos jedni Sloveni,BUGARSKA!
I couldn't find nothing for Bulgaria and Turkey,feel free to pm me friends : )
V+S
Albania was not in Slavic Union - Yugoslavia. Your History knowledge is poor.
MetaXDay 1,765, 11:14 Albania was not in Slavic Union - Yugoslavia. Your History knowledge is poor.
OMG read headline
cool! : D
SLOBOZHANYN Day 1,765, 11:19
OMG read headline Top ten reasons for being a Yugoslav:
1. You can be proud that you are neither a Serb, nor a Croat, nor a Slovene, nor
a Bosnian, nor a Macedonian, nor Montenegrin, nor an Albanian, although you
are one or more of the above.
OMG read the reason
Metax: Albania was not, but Kosovo was...
That was really cool, but I was expecting something about Bulgaria 🙂
OMG read headline Top ten reasons for being a Yugoslav:
1. You can be proud that you are neither a Serb, nor a Croat, nor a Slovene, nor
a Bosnian, nor a Macedonian, nor Montenegrin, nor an Albanian, although you
are one or more of the above.
Albanians have autonomy in Kosovo, is not it?
You are NOT the only country that killed innocent people.
Do not forget KOSOVO, Srebrenica Massacre.
http://i36.tinypic.com/24c8mlx.jpg
http://i36.tinypic.com/2ue72ud.jpg
http://i35.tinypic.com/29geqec.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYiaX2Jxyag&feature=fvwrel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdobCzIyxyU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1hSEtoOQvM&feature=related
Serbia is the scum of the Balkans.Those fucking Netherland soldier let thousands of people killed by Serps.
SLOBOZHANYN Day 1,765, 11:25 Albanians have autonomy in Kosovo, is not it?
I SAY ALBANIA NOT KOSOVO YOU IDIOT !!!!!!!
montaigne Day 1,765, 11:24
Metax: Albania was not, but Kosovo was...
REPUBLIC ALBANIA IS OTHER STATE REPUBLIC OF KOSOVO IS OTHER !!! YOU STUPID
I SAY ALBANIA NOT KOSOVO YOU IDIOT !!!!!!!
Facepalm. In Kosovo Albanians lived and they had autonomy if I am not mistaken
PS You ignorant people like most Turks
6. You can sing Partisan songs from World War Two or rock-and-roll from the
1980's. - Parni Valjak F*CK YEAH!!!
BODYPALM asfgagskfgaksffsa
SLAVIC UNION (yugoslavia): fyrom,servia,croatia,BiH,slovenia,rep.of Kosovo
Albania is not in the slavic union learn some history
These kids are so retarded.
REPUBLIC KOSOVO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Albania is not in the slavic union learn some history
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTwsq_0xy_IVikBcEUEnQhP7CodfSAeAet0hPAmfowhLnLEuxLL&t=1
LoL people this article is about BALKAN NATIONS,not about slavs,nor ex-Yu nations,if you have something about Bulgaria,Turkey,etc i will gladly edit it!
In Turks bathert LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Одличан чланак )
The article should be named "jokes about the Formal Yugoslavian nations" ... the Balkan is much much more that the Formal Yugoslavia .
Voted but here missing Bulgaria,Romania, Greece and Turkey🙂
SLOBOZHANYN Day 1,765, 11:35
go n drink some milk byee stupid baby
http://galeri.uludagsozluk.com/28/recep-ivedik_4698_m.jpg hhhhhh
some are fun 🙂
but really, this article lacks Bulgaria, Romania, Greece and Turkey
Yugoslavia was the best for us :/
Why should i be ashamed from tito ?
he was a mastermind making a giant from a little frog
Problem is most are not jokes...
Balkans - place where live to many stupid people, and whose leaders it is too easy to bribe.
United Balkan - United Macedonia .
Give love a chance, BALKANS.
Nice article, V+S.
What about Kosova and greece?!
szyker,heres one abt KosovO : U can pretend u live in an indipendent country but deep down u know that as soon as ur daddy from the west goes back home,the serbs will be back to take what belonges to them and in the process drown u all in the Adriatic sea.
@buba4ko : The name Balkan does not derive or represent a mountain, but the peoples that for the last millennium have lived in this peninsula...The peoples that distinguished themselves in their way of living and appearance (A CLEARLY SHAVEN FOREHEAD AND FORWARD PART OF THE HEAD TILL THE "MID-HEAD")
These people were and are now the descendants of the ILLYRIAN's and stand in the ex-ILLYRIAN PENINSULA (if you don't know it this was the first and only name this region was called)
so,what balkan means in my language (it's name has a "k" not a "c" as for newer topics or names that has for base language the "english one")
- land of the peoples with broad forefront-
and you must believe it (to me it doesn't matter if you do) that most of the old topics have the albanian language as a key to understand their meaning.
And if your biggest mountain has this name...then you better try and change it fast, as part of the slavo-turkish propaganda (not greek one for they're less then shit, and they know it) to erease everything of the old times of these parts of the world, for what reason? well...
Djordje IL hahaha you little child!
@Albania 1986, quote from Wikipedia:
"The region takes its name from the Balkan Mountains in Bulgaria and Serbia. The term "Balkan" itself comes from Turkish "Balkan", meaning "chain of wooded mountains".[2][3] In Antiquity (and until the Ottoman conquest), the region was referred to in Greek and Roman sources as the "Peninsula of Haemus". This name also derives from the Balkan Mountains, then known "Haemus Mountains", the name itself being of possibly Thracian etymology.[4].
In the languages of the region, the peninsula is known as: Albanian: Gadishulli Ballkanik and Siujdhesa e Ballkanit
In classical antiquity, Illyria (Ancient Greek: Ἰλλυρία or Ἰλλυρίς;[1] Latin: Illyria;[2] see also Illyricum) was a region in the western part of the Balkan Peninsula inhabited by the Illyrians.
Balkan has nothing to do with Illyria, they are close, but not the same as you say.
Romania has nothing to do with the Balkan peninsula. Only a small part of the country (extreme south) can geographical be part of that region. Same story with Turkey... It's like saying that Hungary is also part of the Balkan peninsula, France is part of the Iberian peninsula or Russia is part of Europe. There are some geographical borders that have to be considered into this analysis.
Well done article, like expected most of the audience is mildly, in some cases severely retarded to the point where they cant take a joke.
ps. Korrektion Go f... y...self you n.z.
you can joke with slavic countries but not with Albanians !
A đe su Gusle kod Crnogoraca? 😃
@Metax: Cause they have no sense of humor?
hahaha nice one o7
romania is in balkan and the people got that balkan mentality hungarians r different they r more like germans