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After jfbranson started a contest to know who's got the best jokes about advertisement, I wanted to take my chance. Ads are very special phenomenoms: they're both telling everything, and nothing at all, at the same time.

So here they are!



Advertising is the fine art of making you think you have longed for something all your life that you never heard of before.

Advertising is the fine art of convincing people that debt is better than frustration.

Advertising is the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Advertising is like marriage. There may be a better way, but what is it?

In good times business people want to advertise. In bad times they have to.

Advertising without research is like shooting an arrow into the air and then looking for a target to catch it with.

If ad agents were smart they would schedule deodorant commercials to follow political ads.



Samson had the right idea about advertising. He took two columns and brought down the house.

Appeal to reason in your advertising and you appeal to four percent of the human race. (Advice given at a 1923 ad conference)

Nothing makes installment buying as easy as the advertising.

Advertising sure brings quick results--last week I advertised for a night watchman--the same night my safe was robbed.

Advertising helps raise the standard of living by raising the standard of longing.

Advertising transforms a yawn into a yearn.

Advertising tells us what unnecessary luxuries we can't do without.

One picture may be worth ten thousand words, but some advertisers believe in using both in the same ad.

Stopping advertising to save money is like stopping your watch to save time.

Call your Congressman now! Demand they stop defacing our billboards with highways.

Advertising has really changed our thinking. This morning my wife put on eye shadow, eyeliner and eyelashes. I said, "What are you doing to your eyes?" She said, "I'm making them look natural."

My kid came back from Sunday school with an illustrated card in her hand. I said, "What have you got there?" She said, "Oh, Just an ad for heaven."



A country shopkeeper turned down an offer for some really great rates from an ad person. No way! The last time I put in an ad like that, people came in and bought everything I had.

Advertising is effective. My kid was saying grace and said thank you for this daily, slow-rising, butter-crusted, vitamin-enriched bread.

I think this is small business week. If you want to keep your business small, it's easy. Don't advertise.

You know you're getting old when the commercial (ad) for hair restorer is more interesting than the show (magazine).

One of the big disappointments of life is that the person who writes the advertising for the bank is not the one who makes the loans.

A prominent clergyman would not give his opinion of the advertising business, but he did offer to pray for those that make their living at it.

You can always spot somebody from the advertising business. If he/she left his/her troubles on the doorstep, you couldn't see the house.

I've been in the advertising business 20 years now. When I fill out a questionnaire and it says race---I put down rat!

That's all for today folks!

Hope you're satisfied by my jokes.

Here's a little poem for you to conclude my article 😉

When the client moans and sighs
Make his logo twice the size.
When the client's hopping mad,
Put his picture in the ad.
If he still should prove refractory
Add a picture of his factory