Join the new world

Janos Leinport to Represent the Yukon in Congress

News Flash! eCanada asks the candidate:

Who are you, Janos Leinport? “I’m an eCanadian with a strong sense of duty towards my eNation. I’m a hard-worker, a member of the Democratic Action League of Canada, and a Captain in the military.”



What do you stand for? “I stand for truth, justice, and the eCanadian way.”

What do you oppose? “I am against all forms of discrimination, except when it comes to Justin Bieber and the puppies he may or may not have eaten. That, and the rent is too dang high!”



Have you ever been in Congress before? “No, I hope that will help me provide a fresh perspective to our government.”

What do you hope to do in Congress? “Let me be clear. I think ATM fees are an unwarranted abuse of power by the banks, and I pledge now to do everything in my power as a congressman to abolish them.”



What is your position on Labor? “I don’t want to see our labor market turn into what they’ve got down in Brazil. Their employees went on strike, ran out of money, and starved to death. Then, they rose up as zombies and went back to work. The line must be drawn here. There will be no zombies working in the eCanada I love. We must keep wages stable or growing, so our workers stay happy, well fed, and alive.”


http://economy.erepublik.com/en/company/sispro-house-q1/184880

What is your position on the Military? “Our national security is important. If this were a perfect eWorld, I would take the entire military budget and buy Viagra for every man. The eNation with the highest population can dominate the eWorld. We’ll call that the ‘Bunny Theory’. But the reality is that people get bored and want war, so we have to keep an outlet for them open that will not lead to our demise as an eNation.”



Wow, are you sure you’re not Superman? “No, son, I’m not Superman… My name is Janos Leinport. I’m the fastest man alive.”


Vote Janos Leinport for Congress, Yukon!