Join the new world

This is the full report concerning Immigration in the past, present and how can we shape it for the future. This is my last gift for DoICS and eAustralia. May we all live long and prosper.

Disclaimer: Numerous facts of secretive nature will be disclosed; I tried to maintain the occasional curse word on this article to as little as I can. I’m writing these down on the assumption that we’re all grownups here, and nobody’s sensibilities are going to be wounded too badly by cold hard facts and criticism. I assured you there won’t be any descriptions of graphic violence or whatsoever but maybe I'll slip in some porn.


Department of Immigration, Customs and Security Full Summary Report

Preface
Long-long time ago at the beginning of time since the Department of Immigration, Customs and Security (DoICS, now known as DoS) were created in the wake of eIndonesian PTO attempt, senior officials in these agencies have repeatedly asserted that their primary enforcement mission was to barred PTOers, persons who threatened the national security and any serious threat to eAustralia.

I joined this brilliant group of awesome people 5 months ago until I become minister last month, during that period, an examination of many case-by-case government records about the day-to-day actions of the DoICS, however, has determined that these frequent claims — made by senior executives before me under all CP that ever come into office prior to srg91 — are misleading.

Immigration Enforcement in the Past: a Grim Reality.
The contrast between the official pronouncements and actual achievements of the government during those periods has been documented and analyzed by the Department of Immigration Assessment Team (DoIAT) formed and led by me and my colleagues Arfman and later Sheraz Ahmad (and run in a secretive IRC hideouts #madcow) of case-by-case records of all citizenship rejection and banning proceedings initiated by DoICS, and all its predecessor agency (via forum archive and cross information exchange from other immigration agencies around the world), in the Immigration Courts.

The data — up until December, 2011 — were obtained by DoIAT under the Freedom of Information Act from the Cabinet Archives and also from an undisclosed and never existed clandestine intelligence organization archive within eAus forums, alternatively known as the cool kids forum (don’t ask – it doesn’t exist) which maintains these official immigration records.

What Past Government Has Done
Key findings from these high level data archive are:
1. A bad Immigration and Security culture within eAustralian Government.
2. Numerous records of breach by either individual citizens and even from Senate members.
3. Long list of immigration violations done by citizens in order to gain their citizenships.
4. Long list of known threat and unacceptable citizens.
5. Numerous data of secretive nature that cannot be disclosed in public.


Immigration Enforcement the Koyaanisqatsi Way: an Awesome Turnout
When I first joined DoICS 5 months ago, the very first program that me and former prime minister Arfman created is the “Operation Populate Oz’Trail’Yeah”. The ideas came from the facts that we are suffering from citizenship drop as a result of a very long and tiring eIndonesian invasion. The damage was so severe it left the whole community dries and people, countless of them are either retiring or simply walk away from eAustralia. The challenge at that time was to synchronize the whole department with this new, bold and flexible total-positiveness-zen-and-accepting-anyone-to-join-our-community mission while at the same time tries to giving reassurance to the loyal and remaining citizens that our borders are indeed safe from harm. The realization of this commitment is making our job even harder, old screening method must be discarded away; we switch to a new interpersonal approach of getting to know people inside out. Countless hours were spent to debate the probable fallacy of this policy and yet we still stick to our commitment of making eAustralia a fun and exciting home for all awesome and cool people in the eWorld. Interview rooms were created, countless SOPs were made, experimenting is our daily job and we do it as we go, sure there have been many mistakes but everything – in the end – was rectified.

Not so long afterward, Department of Immigration Assessment Team (DoIAT) successfully coined the guidelines in Immigration procedure; these guidelines are summed up in our 11 divine commandments (or you can simply called it corporate culture). Those sacred commandments are:
1. All men are created equal – at least in digital eRep form;
2. Question everything, and always open for criticism;
3. eAustralia is fun, we are not xenophobic and we are fighting to prevent it from happening by spreading our ”awesomeness” culture.
4. Immigration process does not end when people are getting accepted, always follow up, always open for constructive ideas, and encourage them to help rebuilt eAustralia.
5. Always listen to people, tries to understand.
6. Be nice, always reply to a message, a simple reply gives people assurance that their desire to join our community is heard;
7. Security is no substitute for hospitality; but hospitality cannot make us careless;
8. We are the frontline of eAustralia’s security; written in our constitution – you have god given rights to be an ass to people that threatens our security or violating your power.
9. The God lies in the details - always perform perfectly, never miss anything;
10. But shit happens all the time; so when things go bad, stay calm and focus on the solution;
11. DoICS is the most badass, most awesome department ever. Be proud of what you do.

Immigration Enforcement now: Paving the Way for More “Awesomeness”
This may, our DoICS (DoS) will be led by a very passionate young eAustralians, minister Sheraz Ahmed. If you don’t know him; find him, talk to him, get to know him. He is one of the best and brightest young eAustralians I have ever met. You won’t meet anyone with such passion as Sheraz, he is the first person that ever amazes me in citizenship interview, he is a loyal colleagues and a very nice friend. He will continue the tradition of awesomeness in our new Department of Security and paving the way for more good things and contribution for our beloved eAustralia.

Sheraz, I congratulate you for your promotion, wishing you good luck and hoping that you will continue to perform admirably. Make me proud mate.

There you go, my little summary of what the hell me and a few awesome people been doing.
With such positivity in the air, I believe we can make eAustralia shines. I believe we can increase our population ever more, I believe we can be the beacon of hope, the zen of the new world, the friendly faces of the earth, I believe that we can.

With passion,

Koyaanisqatsi Max / madcow