I said what?!

Day 1,081, 04:05 • Published in USA USA • by Heather Fuchs

So, you’re still thinking about a career in the eUS Military? Well, to further help you make up your mind, here are some quotes* from actual members of the US Mobile Infantry.



Lieutenant n4n0, PCO of Charlie-6 and lifelong country music fan: “Before I joined the MI, my truck broke down, my dog was dead, my girl left me, my house was on fire, and my daddy was sick. After MI, my truck works, my girl came back to me, my dog rose from the dead, my daddy got better, and my house stopped burning!”


Private cbowmom87, former XO of Charlie Company (ret): “MI – I put that $#!^ on everything!”


Colonel AutumnsDawn, Quartermaster General: “MI – Apply directly to the forehead! MI – Apply directly to the forehead! MI – Apply directly to the forehead!”


Sergeant oxy744, PXO, Bravo-2: “oxy744 here for MI! MI tackles household stains inside and out! Add a cup of MI to your laundry – you’ve never seen whites so white and brights so bright! Got a pile of cow poop on your pants? Just pour MI directly on the stain, and it melts away like magic! Need to dispose of a body in your backyard? Fill a barrel with MI, put in the parts, and POOF! No more embarrassing questions from the police! With this special TV offer, if you act now we’ll send you not one, not two, but three buckets of MI for the low low price of just $19.99 (plus shipping and handling).”


General GoalieBCSC, Commanding officer, eUS Mobile Infantry and JCS member: “Spam, you’d better stop making crap up!”


Major Ashvio, MI Quartermaster: “I was tired of never knowing if I would be able to perform on command, and I never wanted to disappoint my partner. My doctor suggested I try MI, and now all my fears of not being ready when the time comes are gone! MI – so you’re ready when she is.”**


EDIT: and one really good quote

General (ret) Sir Valaro Volcrum, former Commanding Officer, eUS Mobile Infantry: The Mobile Infantry was easily the greatest part of my eRepublik experience. You will make eLife long friendships, learn valuable skills and will have fun.



There you have it, folks! Just a few more reasons why joining the MI is a really, really good idea.



If your rank is at least Lieutenant and you have at least Expert level in one weapon, you, too, could be a member of the Mobile Infantry!!!

If not, then get your military career started in the Training Corps!



* Quotes themselves may not be actual.
** MI when used as directed is extremely safe and effective. Overuse of MI can lead to excessive bleeding, priapism, loss of bowel and bladder control, hallucinations, overgrowth of facial hair and bright green polka-dots on your skin. Call your doctor if you can’t roll over while using MI. MI should not be taken with MAO inhibitors as this can result in a potentially fatal side effect. MI will not cure a plague of frogs.



(Respectfully) submitted,
Captain Spamgobbler
Press Officer
PXO, Charlie-6
eUS Mobile Infantry