Join the new world

We've seen this stuff quite often lately - Chile, Bulgaria, Sweden, Russia having tensions with some of their closest allies. However, pissing off you longtime allies is no easy deed - it is, indeed, an art so delicate, most people fail to recognise the effort needed to do it properly. So - do not despair, Skalg has a nice guide prepared for you to learn it!

1) Choose a reason for doing it

It's pretty simple - your reason for pissing of your ally doesn't have to be real, it's totally enough if you can get your article explaining it voted high enough so that your population believes it is real.

Among the most loved reasons are ressources. You ally wants ressources you want to? Or it is cutting you off from ressources you need? Or it is just having more of them than you and you don't like it? A totally valid reason to threaten them!

Another well liked reason is RL. Someones King slayed someones home village about 1000 years ago? Well, that is totally a reason for hating them on a fictional Online-Game! Go for it, start massive trolling and babybooms, and be assured - your effort will not be wasted. There's enough idiots out there who will love that.

None of those applies to you? Well, then it'll probably be enough to accuse them of supporting your enemies and abusing you for your enourmous damage.




2) Show everyone YOU are more important

Not, this is a step not so easy. You will need to show your alliance that you are the one who is more important - so they won't side with the ally you are going to piss off.

The easiest path, ofc, is simply doing more damage than everyone else, because, you know, no one can deny the importance of damage in this game. You allies will have to choose - do they like the one you is not aggressive, and be wiped alongside them, our are they going to support you, who will support their colonies?

Lacking this amount of damage, you'll need an instant Babyboom. Because lacking damage, you'll have the potential for future damage - and that might be even more important than your current damage output!

Should this still not suffice, you'll need a strategical position. For example, be somewhere far off all superpowers, surrounded by loyal allies who will support everything you do and would change sides with you. Believe it or not - people will love that!

3) Troll your ally

Why would you even try diplomacy? I mean, you are stonger, more important, and you WANT to piss off your ally so badly, don't even bother to talk to anyone. It might even solve the problem!!!

Try something else - tell them how they are everything they are because of you. You saved them from every (non-)exististant threat, you supported them in they (non-)existant colonies, you spared damage for them in their (non-)existant wars, and so on. They are a bunch of unthankful little bastards!

Eventually, everyone willl hate each other so much, you officials will have no way but to make ultimatums.




4) Make HQ thow them out

Your alliance has a HQ. Don't fool yourself, it has, even if it might be somewhat inactive.

Now that most of your alliances members support you, make sure they kick your (former) ally out. Try invading them if you want to. But please - don't NE them while they still have the same MPPs like you. Thats a foolish move, but surely, no one would be stupid enough to do so.

5) Publish an article telling people how you kicked them out and your alliance is the bestest alliance

I mean, come on, no one will appreciate a little shitstorm if it's not public. So make sure everyone knows about it. Make sure everyone knows it's their fault, and their fault alone. Make sure everyone will know you are the bestest alliance and that your former ally should join you enemy who only cares about damage.

6) Troll those articles

You wanna go professional? Well, then look for articles like the one in 5). Comment stuff like "you alliance clearly cares more about damage than mine". Disregard similar cases in your alliance. If someone mentions them - deny them or make sure it sounds like there have been more cases in your enemies alliance.

Because, let's be honest - having 2 cases of treason is way, way better than 3 and clearly shows how your alliance is about values and the other is not.

Explain to every noob what values those are. If you don't know them, it's probably something like "brotherhood". If you don't know what that exactly means, pretend you do. Tell them their alliance are a bunch of traitors - because they left their former allies over a year ago. Disregard the fact that your own alliance consists of people doing the same.



When you're done, you'll probably realise alliances are crazy and ALWAYS about damage. Bilateral friendships rule!
Skalg von Tuari