How Krak Helped Me Discover the Biggest Threat to Ireland and the World!

Day 2,078, 01:04 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Arjay Phoenician III

You’re counted as a reader, you might as well vote!



In continuing this campaign to promote the presidential candidacy for my beloved friend, ReleaseThe Krakken, I see he’s taken the initiative in renaming his political party after me. The former Grey Wolf Fraternity has been renamed Out Out Arjay, and I could not be happier. It chokes me up inside, to know he appreciates my efforts so much that he would name the party after me. When he wins the presidency, the phrase PRESIDENT RELEASETHE KRAKKEN OF OUT OUT ARJAY will be etched on every monument and written in every history book throughout the land. Our names will be forever linked.

I hope I can continue to impress him as this campaign progresses. It’s one thing to earn his R-E-S-P-E-C-T, it’s another to keep it.



I hereby dedicate this article to a position Krakken has taken up in recent days. It seems to me that my friend MaryamQ is a clear and present danger to eIreland, and it is here that I renounce my friendship with her. It is obvious that I have been harboring a monster, a miscreant, an evil and vile she-villain, and the best friend of the soon-to-be-president cannot be seen cavorting with people of her ilk. Her sinister plots are more outlandish than anything the so-called “kunts” have ever concocted, and she needs to be exposed for the diabolical tyrant that she is.



I was so fooled. I confess, the intelligent conversations I’ve had with her were seducing, and I fell under her sweet spell. She often plays the role of dignified lady, but I see all too clearly now that it is just a disguise, a ruse. She played me for a sucker, a rube, a dope, a pigeon, a dingbat, a sap, a birdbrain, a numbskull, a bumpkin, a dunce, a simpleton, a nincompoop. She set me up so well, I didn’t see it coming. She had been friends with my grandfather years ago, and I thought I could befriend her as well. We spent so many hours talking about this world and individualism and planned out the Individualist Society. She was one of my closest friends.

And then I discovered Krak, and I could finally see the light.



Krakken showed me the blind error of my ways. He connected all the dots for me, and the picture I had refused to see all along came into full focus. MaryamQ is an enemy of the state and should be shunned. The evidence is so clear:

1. In real life she is a teenager who has grandchildren. My Freaking God! She must have been pregnant at the age of five, and then her kid had a kid at the age of five! The cruel deviant! Sick Sick Sick!

2. She has an eHusband, Cotarius, who has the unmitigated gall to use a picture of a woman for his avatar. We’ve all seen this kind of sexual ambiguity. I stand with Krakken not just a hundred percent, not a thousand percent, but a million-billion-gazillion percent on this, that there’s something just a little icky about it. Such people are losers and aren’t going anywhere in their lives. Just ask five-time CP Dishmcds, he’s got loser written all over him. Next time you walk past Dish’s house, look in his window, and if you see him, make an L with the fingers on your right hand and put it up to your forehead.



3. Of course, MaryamQ and Cotarius both “say” they’re a straight eCouple, and they both “say” Cotarius is a dude, but how do any of us know for sure? Krakken figured this out in his article from a couple of days ago when he sai😛

This is all hindered of course at the moment by his love MaryAmQ being eMarried to a woman making her of course a D_ _ _ _ ?

I think Krakken is onto something. I think he ratted Cotarius out, that the straight couple routine is just a clever disguise, and that they are actually lesbian lovers living in the sin of lesbian love like lesbian lovers love to do. I heard everyone out there simultaneously do the OMG gasp. How on earth could this happen? How could one of my best friends possibly be a L… LLL… LLLLL… I can’t even say the word, it’s just a hideous thing to be. Of course, now I HAVE to kick MaryamQ to the curb, there’s no way in the world I could ever be associated with a LLLLL…

4. MaryamQ has the President of eBelgium, Elynea, wrapped around her little finger. Having spent years and years infiltrating other countries, working her way up various popular movements, seeking the presidency herself, and then moving on, she came to Belgium, playing her sinister games, gaining Elynea’s confidence, even talking her into the idea of a co-presidency. At any time now, Elynea’s going to be walking down the hall, not suspecting a thing, and that’s when MaryamQ is going to jump out and yell SURPRISE, SUCKER! MWAHAHAHAHAH! Boy, will Elynea have egg on her face when that happens, or what? It’s a good thing we have Krakken around to warn her about this. I’m sure, once Elynea has some Krak, she will come to her senses as well.



You’ve been fooled by her, World. Oh, I say and I say it again, you’ve been had! You’ve been took! You’ve been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok! This is what she does.

This time last week, MaryamQ had me, and truly, all the world thinking she was one thing, when in reality, she was something else. I thought she was a thoughtful, gentle soul who appreciated the friendship I gave her. Now I see her for the teenage grandmother with the lustful relationship with a woman who “claims” to be a man and the long track record of infiltrating governments that she is.

And I owe it all to Krak.

Yet another reason why you should vote for Krakken on August 5. Were it not for his sober insights, all of us would still be in the dark on this. Shame on you, MaryamQ. SHAME, SHAME, SHAAAAAAAME!

BE A KRAK-HEAD! VOTE FOR RELEASETHE KRAKKEN ON AUGUST 5!




Belfast Lough Times: Issue #41