Hello, my name is Emerick
Day 2,010, 16:40
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Emerick
🙂
Hello, friends. My name is Emerick, and I'd like to ask you for support in my attempt to join Congress this month.
🙂
As is customary in democracy, I am required to sell the idea of giving me congressional power to you, the voters. In that context, please take into account my following qualities that I will bring to our "fine" country's congress:
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🙂
-I am somewhat intelligent
-I support a more powerful United States
-I like babies
---I mean, I like like babies
--- ---I would make out with your child if it would help to convince you to vote for me
--- --- ---If not, I'm willing to hold my libido
-I know the game
-I am good at the game
-I am fiscally responsible
-I am somewhat active
-If it would do any good, I would vote 3rd party irl
-I am willing to pander for votes
---For example:
YOU GOT IT AMERICA
I hope that this is enough to convince you to vote for me. If not, then I will pay you. If you are morally against bribery, then I will kill you if you choose not to vote for me.
Have a good day!
🙂
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Comments
Not accept.
What would help to convince you? More sex?
Needs more cowbell.
Is that enough cowbell?
Emerick is Muricca.
I don't vote for people, I vote issues.
What sexual favors, if any, would voting you into congress get me?
What incredibly small and defenseless countries would you propose we subjugate in order to maintain our sense of superiority?
If elected, how often would you write ambiguously homo-erotic articles, and would they include pics?
What are your measurements?
>What sexual favors, if any, would voting you into congress get me?
All of them.
>What incredibly small and defenseless countries would you propose we subjugate in order to maintain our sense of superiority?
Mexico. If Foreign Affairs disagrees, France. If Foreign Affairs disagrees, Japan. If Foreign Affairs disagrees, then we stage a coup.
>If elected, how often would you write ambiguously homo-erotic articles, and would they include pics?
Probably as often as I do now, which is a lot. Unless you don't like that, in which case OMG NO HOMO BRO I LIKE GIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLS DUDE YO
>What are your measurements?
Would you like me to be male or female?
I'd like to be kept guessing. My questions were bollox though. Dirty bollox. You had me at "I like babies." No that's a lie too. You broke my CP Cherry on July 5th 2009 when I voted for you over Harrison Richardson. You lost. I was so heartbroken that I left the game for 3.5 years. I heard rumors you were coming back. So I came back. Now I am free to stalk you once again. Don't worry though, I'm not a creepy stalker like other players in this game. I'm more like the Burger King or Rose from Two and a Half Men. I either give you whoppers or sex that you regret in the morning. So... Yay.
ok
At that point, it's time to throw FA out of the white house and hire someone new.
I'm also interested in the measurements
vote
I am somewhat intelligent
*understatement
-I support a more powerful United States
*it's all in the definition, isn't it!
-I like babies
*who doesn't?
---I mean, I like like babies
*yeah, most people don't
--- ---I would make out with your child if it would help to convince you to vote for me
*sick bastard is sick
--- --- ---If not, I'm willing to hold my libido
*i've seen it happen before
-I know the game
*this is true
-I am good at the game
*it's all in the definition, isn't it!
-I am fiscally responsible
*I assume you want to defund USAF then
-I am somewhat active
*well, you were. I'm hoping more so again
-If it would do any good, I would vote 3rd party irl
*me too!, but it won't
-I am willing to pander for votes
*what other way is there to get a vote?
"--- --- ---If not, I'm willing to hold my libido
*i've seen it happen before"
Calling preemptive bullshit on that.
Well, at least I'd be entertained and you couldn't possibly make things worse. Much.
What is your stance on rimjobs? For/against?
I believe in rimjobs for every American, even AFA
Thank you. Your attention to my question means I will consider voting for you.
A veritable example of intellectual depth. I approve.
Emerick! \o/
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/sometimes-i-forget-1275390/1/20
My comment was so awesome, it became self-aware and deleted itself. I miss it sometimes.
vote
Emerick is Great!
Emerick, did I ever mention how much I love you sometimes ?
Nope, never
Here we go:http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/target-sighted-slyk-willy-2127398/1/20
You're near the end
How much are we talking here on the bribes?
At least 4
Oh snap.
What is your position regarding the statute of Texas?
I believe that it is a free and independent country, regardless of what Obama or the other Washington elitists have to say about it. I stand with Rick Perry.
You can always tell a Milford man.
I came
Are you into beastiality? 'Cause that would maybe be a good thing.
Maybe
I'm tired that Toddlercons are not represented enough in out eGoverment! It's time for change, it's time for Emerick!
In your occasionally humble opinion, if Kosovo were a sex position, which one would it be?
(my avatar says it all)
By special request from the man himself:
For one night only:
The truth, my friends.
Also, some memes.
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/the-truth-of-the-top-news-11-the-sad-face-edition-2265650/1/20
Think of the children
Vote Emerick