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Good afternoon, citizens of London!


Allow me to introduce myself

We’re only 2 days away from Christmas; so in advance – a very merry Christmas to you all. As there is no particular reason why I’d wish you a merry Christmas apart from the impending congressional elections, let’s talk about that for a while.

On Christmas day, we will all have hangovers from the small celebrations on Christmas Eve. It is thus important that you remember to click on the UKRP tab and then, subsequently, click on the vote thing next to my name. Then, fate shall lead you unto overdoing it at Christmas lunch.

Apparently I have to have a few policies as well, so I made these on the way home on the bus:-



Economic Policy
-Thatcher must do a tap-dance every time he says no to giving out money,
-Taxes will become negotiable,
-Pubs called the ‘King’s Head’ shall be renamed the ‘Banker’s Head’.

Foreign Policy
-Britain to undergo a wave of Jingoism,
-Britain to retake the Empire,
-Britain to get into a scrum with somebody slightly bigger,
-Britain to eventually lose the Empire,
-Proposal to make all foreigners speak English.



Military Policy
-Restart the Royal Navy,
-Close the Royal Navy,
-Bring back the Special Boat Service,
-Laugh at the Special Boat Service,
-Close the Special Boat Service.

Domestic Policy
-All chavs must undergo re-education lessons on cookery,
-Chavs will be filed into a ‘national cooking service’,
-Entire Nation’s Christmas Lunches shall be supplied by said Chavs,
-Entire Nation will be violently ill from said Chavs,
-Entire Nation very angry at said Chavs,
-Entire Nation naturally cleanses itself from Chavs,



Vote Sir Humphrey Appleby for London on the 25th!