Hear-Say From the Hill: Everything Scandalous and Delicious from DC v.2

Day 510, 19:26 • Published in USA USA • by Claire Littleton
~The Best eGossip eColumn in the eUS: Hear-Say from the Hill~ (v.2)



1) Senate Sightings
2) Hill Highlights
3) Capital Chaos


That's right, biznatches, I'm back after a week-long vacation in the uber sexy eBosnia and Herzegovina... Lets just say my Bosnia never felt better and the men there sure know how to make your Herzego-gina tingle. Now, back on track.... this week's top gossip!

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1) Senate Sightings - Around The World


~ She kissed a girl and I think she liked it..... cause she did it again. PrincessMedyPi, current UIP President, was seen this past weekend getting cheeky, literally, with a few hot item tickets from around the eWorld. This reporter heard --and seen for herself: see photo below-- from a source that wishes to remain anonymous... it's Ansen, the current Representative from Kansas and UIP Party President Candidate.... that PrincessMedyPi has switched teams completely! She was seen kissing Britt from eAustralia at the hot nightclub, The Kangaroo's Pouch in eSydney this past weekend. When the photo-op was missed, she did it again for reporters, but this time she grabbed Claire Littleton, White House Press Secretary and Congresswoman from Montana! It's no shocker, people, PrincessMedy is known to dabble in the "Pi", if ya know what I mean....


PrincessMedyPi practicing "Party Politics"

~ ......Across the globe in L.A. at the new movie premier, "Chuck-ing Wood"featuring big-time action star legend Chuck Norris, Economic Council member Gilroy along with Pennsylvania Representative Cromstar and Delaware Representative Clammy Jim were spotted on the red carpet! Gilroy and Cromstar seemed genuinely excited to meet the great Chuck Norris, however, Clammy Jim looked upset. When asked why he looked so perturbed, Clammy Jim responded, "Well... I thought this was a different kind of... "action" movie..." This reporter thinks that Clammy Jim's little Jim was overly clammy for all the wrong reasons......

~.......Back in D.C., This Reporter personally spotted Tiacha, Congresswoman from the Dirty Jerz, walking into a bridal store! I followed her in and probed her about her upcoming eWedding to IanJohnLocke IV, a relative nobody in the social scene. She stated the eWedding is this Wednesday in the IRC room #education at 9:00 pm EST. She let me in on who will be performing the wedding and it is no less than resident D.C. Troll/Poet Emerick. Emerick will be doing the wedding in a traditional Lewdism fashion, but I was confused seeing as how IanJohnLocke IV is an obvious Muslim with his giant beard and his love of Hoboken. Tiacha informed me that she will be the only Virgin waiting for IanJohnLocke IV in heaven when his time comes....

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2) Hill Highlights - Big Stories from the Week

~ Congressman from Alaska, if you can call him that, Ghvandyk resigned a few days ago reportedly due to various Congress(wo)men making him upset. A long time friend of Ghvandyk, who will be unnamed, said that Ghvandyk would go home every night after work, climb into bed and listen to Britney Spears' song "Everytime" with hundreds of candles lit and then sob himself to sleep. In related news, Ghvandyk's home was found burnt to the ground yesterday. His corpse was found clutching onto a bejeweled framed photo of Sadam Hussein, Representative from Maryland.

~ Josh Frost, former Representative from Colorado, resigned this week because of "indifferences" with the United States Workers Party. This Reporter heard that Mr. Frost refused to sell his soul to Satan in return for a big promotion that would allow him to screw every other Party out of getting any seats in the coming Congressional Elections. When asked to comment, USWP President ProggyPop blinked his large glowing red eyes then transformed into a bat and flew off into the moonlight.


seen above:The USWP's official Party Seal

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Capital Chaos

~ The eUS case against Navy II is underway. Navy II, for those of you living under a rock, stole hundreds of guns from the eUS, stole money from the companies, tried to sell the eUS owned gun companies then ran off to eSingapore and resigned from Congress. (Read EXCLUSIVE Navy II Interview with ME here: Navy II Exclusive ) The day after this happened, Congress looked like a baby who just had his binki stolen then soiled his diaper. On a completely unrelated note (full tilt sarcasm there), John Jay, the former Presidential Candidate who also moved to Singapore, was seen the day after giving away q1 guns in the #UIP Chatroom. Looks like someone had a surplus of guns for some unknown reason....

eUS Attorney General, Henry Baldwin is lead investigator in this case and he has informed This Reporter that he will also be charging NoneSuch as he will be indicted as a second principal to Navy's major fraud; and somehow (in his crackpot brain) uncovered information that will allow him to file charges against Justinious and One Eye, along with Equality 7-2521 on tax evasion and conspiracy. Methinks that Henry Baldwin has a career death wish and should just put the eBullet in his eBrain ASAP.



That's it for this week's edition! All stories above are obviously fictional (to some degree) and all people mentioned and parties involved can feel free to defend themselves in the comments below!

~This Reporter

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