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Today the UK was greeted with some glorious news. Our President Temujin has somehow managed to convince ireland to take wales and northern ireland off us!

Have you ever been embarrassed at having sheep shagging rugby fanboys claim to be 'British'?

Have ever been scared that the IRA might bomb your family?

Have you ever feared horrible inbred Welsh genes might seep into your family tree?

Well, thanks to Team Temujin these are no longer an issue.

This writer Thinks his decision to ditch Wales and NI was astute, courageous and patriotic.

He has done Our great Nation proud.

Future generations who join the game in February may well remember him as Temujin the Great. Or perhaps a simple but affectionate 'Our Temmy'

Either way, we salute you Mr.President.

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Veteren former-president Dishmcds has announced his desire to be our New president.

His opening statement was full of big bold statements about reinvigorating the country.

But his first manifesto was about as revolutionary as a stationary object at a fixed position in time and space.

This all raises a multitude of vaguely sensical analogies.

Is Dish like an actual dish? All the food on it has been eaten in his previous terms, and all that is left is shiny ceramic. Now I love ceramic stuff, but I wouldn't eat it. And I definitely would not elect it to be President.

One could say that Dish is akin to David Cameron's teeth whitening budget. Completely Spent.

But perhaps most potent of all would be a Star Wars analogy. As good as the original trilogy was, is more really necassary?

It seems the burning political issue of this election is:

'Do we really want Dishmcds:The Phantom Menace'?

Whatever happens, you can rest assured that if Dish is elected, this paper will label one of his ministers as the Jar Jar Binks of Dish's cabinet and Try and push the label so much that they are stuck with for the rest of their time on erepublik.

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Team Thomas still hasn't got off the ground. His latest manifesto failed to shift his tag as the 'boring' candidate.

This writer firmly believes a shock declaration that his government would invade France would be a perfect way to seal the election. Adolf Hitler fought an irratonal war on 2 fronts and Look how many elections he won!

A massive curveball like that would make him instantly the most popular candidate.

If he doesn't do this then the voting public may well be the ones throwing a curveball. Into his face.

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