Half of All Active eRepublik Players Actually Multis

Day 1,325, 14:45 • Published in USA USA • by Aeroner

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Half of All Active eRepublik Players Actually Multis

In a stunning find yesterday, local authorities raided the house of one Debra Leander, only to find that she played over half of all active users in eRepublik.

The call came in from a concerned neighbor who reportedly said that "...he could smell the overwhelming stench of boredom oozing through the walls..." and that "...something had died in there, long ago, that someone must have forgotten about or didn't care about...". The authorities, concerned that this could be the home of the Sub Prostitute they had been looking for, busted down the doors of Debra's house, only to find candy wrappers strewn across the floor, with a rug and a few sheets as a makeshift bed. They immediately searched the house only to find that it was empty, a shell of its former self. It appeared that someone, at some point, had tried to repair the house, but their attempts were misguided and ill-conceived. It appears they did more structural damage to the house than they did good.

However, amid all the garbage, they found one Debra Leander, a sleek, new, Alienware laptop in her hands. She was, actually, pretty normal. Her hair was done up, she looked healthy, and she was playing away.

Little did the cops know that this woman played over half of all active players in eRepublik, a little-known social-networking site that was recently sued by The Social Network star Jesse Eisenberg for copyright.

When asked how she managed to stay so normal in her environment, and while playing over half the active players in the "game", she responded;

"I didn't really need to do much. What do you think this is, Call of Duty? I did a few clicks, and I was done."

When our reporter questioned that, saying that even a few clicks will take awhile when you have thousands of profiles to look after, she gave him a blank stare.

"What the hell are you talking about? I only play like, a hundred profiles."

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This article is satire and should not be taken seriously. Much.