Join the new world

Hello e-World! I am writing from my small e-tent I’ve set up at Soča River, in Tolmin area, probably one of the most beautiful places in the world (and even better if you’re a metalhead). It has been a really long time since I posted an article, but this time I have something for you which I think you will find very useful.

So, if you are like me an😛
- You are a freak when it comes to this game

- You don’t want to lose a single wellness, but in your lame job no internet is allowed and what is more you have to work for ridiculously many hours

- You have a mobile phone from the Jurassic era, and for some strange reason it can barely run an internet browser, but the eRepublik homepage takes eons to show correctly. And when it does, when you press the regenerate health button it does nothing.

- Your 3G ultra-fast-advertised connection is slower than your grandma going to the bathroom.

- Your mobile carrier is charging you a sh!tload of money for every byte you download.


Who you’re gonna call? Makis Kouklentes to the rescue! Let’s get to work.

STEP 1:
First thing you wanna do is a little homework. Open your mobile’s browser and type in www.erepublik.com. After a minute which seems like an eternity you will be taken to the login page of the game we all love to hate. On the e-mail and password fields, type your credentials and TICK THE GODDAMN “Remember me” button. Now wait for another aeon until the homepage appears to make sure you are logged in. When it does, turn the damn thing off and stop being charged (the homepage is really big in Megabyte terms). You need to do this so when we get to the fun part, you won’t be redirected to the login page again.

STEP 2:
Go to your lame job.

STEP 3:
You gonna need to find a good excuse to go to the bathroom so that your boss is not going to notice you using your mobile’s internet. “I wanna take a dump” usually works well cause no boss wants you to have a dump where everyone else is wan… err…. working. And it will give you enough time to do the trick. So find your excuse and go to the bathroom. WITH YOUR PHONE YOU FOOL!

STEP 4:
Check that your 3G signal is ok and open your mobile’s browser. Now comes the real magic. Type at the address bar this sh!t, exactly as you see it:

www.erepublik.com/en/main/eat


The server will respond with a strange page of words, numbers and symbols and other junk (well, junk for you, not the game) which you should not give a damn about. Like the image below.

What you have just done is exactly what the Eat Food button does. You have consumed food from your storage and replenished your health to the maximum amount possible. It is safe to turn off your internet browser and internet connection. Flush the toilet to make it more believable to your co-workers and boss that you had a good time in there and exit. Wash your hands or else everyone will think that you are a dirty fart.

STEP 5:
Continue your lame job and when you get home you will hopefully will not have a full health counter waiting for you. Congrats!

Gandalf WARNS YOU!

Beware not to put the link twice in your browser or refresh the junk page you received as a server response! You risk eating a precious energy bar! Nor Gandalf or I will be held responsible if you thought you can cheat Plato so easily!

HINT:
Bookmark the link to your browser so you don’t have to remember or write it every time. Especially useful if your fingers are fatter than your smartphone’s screen.

If you liked this article you can vote, shout and sub. Actually, even if you didn’t, do all these things. It will make me happy.

Drink beer and worship Satan,
Makis Kouklentes