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Yo from the increasingly innaccurately titled The Daily Douche. Maybe "The Quarterly Douche" might be more apt?

On the other hand, screw it, I like the alliteration.

So that was a fun trip away to eFrance; two months sitting in a cold dark prison with nothing to eat but harley's rusks. After a while though it became apparent that eFrance didn't really exist anymore and that the prison that I was in had actually turned into a Polish holiday resort. I had certainly been wondering why they had been serving more MaiTai's than usual, having raucaus pool parties into the wee hours of the night and offering free massages. Initially I didn't like to ask the guards/blue coats what was happening and when the next torture session was. Well you don't though, you don't want to appear rude.

Well I would have been out sooner had the prison break by Jeff the Horse actually worked. As you all probably know horses are very easily distracted by any opportunity that they have to arrange themselves into an improptue carousel. It was going so well until we passed an accordian playing monkey and Jeff and his other horse mates spent four hours riding around in circles pretending to be at the fair. Four hours is too much for me to be on a carousel (I felt sick). So I went back to the prison for dinner and they didn't let me out again. (Ya boo sucks to them!)

I did meet Jeff and his horse mates at the pool though and we did have a good old chat / piss up. Horses do love their MaiTai's. Pete the Horse probably likes them too much ... I think that he might have a drinking problem.

Still we all got home to the farm last September and whilst the horses and I were recuperating / recovering from our several month long hangovers. The horses decided that they would love to join up and fight with the eUK. So what if eFrance doesn't exist, they still wouldn't mind fighting anybody else so long as it was with the People's Army.

So there you are. If you are with the People's Army and you would like a horse, I will ask Jeff, Pete and the others to draw lots and you then get a free horse. Only thing is you have to look after them. Lots of hay and MaiTai's ... maybe not for Pete the Horse though. He's given up booze. Well, maybe after December he will. It is Christmas after all.

(Have always quite liked the idea of riding into battle on horseback).

Doucher1