For the Lulz! Congressional Hopeful Serendipitous's Platform!

Day 642, 11:00 • Published in USA USA • by Serendipitous

Well folks, it's that time again. After holing up in Florida for awhile, I have furtively exited and joined the congressional election for Maine! Here's my platform:

1. Economy
2. Plan of Fail Action
3. Military Garbage
4. Promises

Economy

Our economy is in turmoil. If we can hold Maine and Florida, we may be able to bounce back and requisition some of our more useful territories. If this happens, I will do as much as possible to get you all jobs, or moving tickets to get jobs in Florida. Viva Maine!

Plan of Fail Action

If the plan doesn't work, then I'll do everything in my power to get ALL OF YOU out of here as quickly as possible. Viva Maine!

Military Garbage

The remnants of our military are still in and around Florida, and if Maine's attacked by Russia, I will risk my reputation on this great state and protect you at all costs! Viva Maine!

Promises

Jobs, Protection, and Strength. What more could you ask for? GUACAMOLE, YOU SAY? Very well, guacamole it is! VIVA MAINE!