First Blanket
PencilPal
Hello and welcome to the Poor Man's Blanket. I'm your man behind the desk, Pencil Pal.
I named this paper the Poor Man's Blanket for a few reasons. The first one being that I want for my opinions to be treated with all the respect, dignity, and contemplation that a homeless man treats his blanket with. Just because I have the pathological need to express myself doesn't mean one should listen. Secondly, seeing as this is a daily paper, it will soon be so plentiful that were it a physical paper instead of online that it would be able to keep every beggar in New York warm for a night. Long story short: My newspaper is shit, so I will overwhelm you with volume.
On to the news!
Today, I speak to you on the first day of A^3 (the Alexander Auctoritas Administration). He won with a strong victory, receiving more than 50% of the vote. The United States obviously believe in the militaristic anti-Spain campaign that he ran, and are eager to see the President stick one to their enemies. We at the Poor Man's Blanket wish him luck with his term.
An interesting side-story to the election was the side-competition between Libertarian Paul Proteus and Pizza the Hut for third place. Paul was vastly favorited to beat him, being calling part of the "Top Three" candidates in many papers, many of which ignored Pizza's presence at all. However, Pizza surged ahead of Paul early on election day. Paul's numbers didn't jump until after Gnilrap's concession speech encouraged his supporters to spite Pizza and vote for Paul. Pizza the Hut called this move shameless "dirty politics" showing his large disdain for the other candidates. Whether you believe the move dirty or not, it was unsuccessful leaving Paul 8 votes short of third place.
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Comments
Voted and Subscribed, and shouted, keep em coming!
sub 4+ shout
Voted and subscribed.
'My newspaper is shit, so I will overwhelm you with volume.'
I loved this line.
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Don't feel bad, I don't even hardly ever use my paper anymore and it still reeks.
Holy....Charlie Brown vvvv+sss
v+s for Peanuts
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Very very very good.
Sub Numero 10
v gj
Thanks to everyone for the positive feedback!
v+s
“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.” -- C, Brown
You're a great writer, Pencil! Hope you love eRep!
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wow Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin o/
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Someone is either as old as some of us or used google and didnt favor norm macdonald
Holy crap Batman! 😁^ Relorian was here.
this is great!
Funny and well written!
Very nice.
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V & S
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Ohai bandwagon. /me jumps on. Keep it up pencil. eUS media keeps getting better!