Join the new world

Us at the Offeec of Lolcats have plenty of work around this time of the month, most having to do with how we're going to pay back the Federalist Party for allowing that Q5 Box of Kitten Program. So, today, as our Q5 Box of Kitten's grow up and become Q5 Box of Cats, we'll push forward and make the Federalists Party ours!


Recruitment Plan:

First off, we're getting rid of everyone else. They obviously cannot see the importance of cats, and how feline kind will be able to pursue larger goals that what any virtual human will ever do. So, with that said, let me introduce to you my recruitment plan for the Federalist Party this time around.

With each one of our Q5 Box of Kittens becoming cats, soon they'll be able to vote for themselves, although we've trained them well enough to enjoy the kind of liberties the Federalist Party so kindly offers in the form of daily saucers of cream. We will never forgot the kindness that the Federalist Party has shown us, so, my first act as Party President, will be to give each and every one of the Q5 cats additional voting power. That's right. With the massive effort of Q5 cats join the Federalists, we'll have to give them enough say in our world of politics. Their needs are always greater than ours.

Now, as you can see, with additional Q5 cat's joining us, our membership rate will increase dramatically as we show the cats and kittens all around eRepublik how fortunate it is for them to have a place to go to, where they're respected and treated as true nobility.

Q5 Multiplication Efforts


US War Effort Response:

Over the course of the last year, the Offeec of Lolcats has been preparing for times of war. As a wise box-cat once said, "In times of peace, prepare for war." We have yet to ignore that very wise phrase, and so, let me introduce to you the Federalists Party's soon-to-be great contribution to the US War Effort.

The Q5 War Cat, is our answer to helping the US overcome our current war, and this will, undoubtedly, lead to saving our country. This type of War Cat cannot be mass-produced, but when deployed on a battlefield, is devastating and can turn the tide of a battle instantaneously.

Our methods for going about collecting Q5 War Cats is nothing to gawk at. Using prime supplies funded by the Federalist Party, we gather young kittens for use at our experimental training facilities, and begin to train them in squads of four. As soon as the cats reach basic maturity at the age of one year-old, we begin low-doses of catnip injection into their bloodstreams, to help them develop into those awesome war machines we've come to fear during battle. Over the course of the next three years, our Q5 War Cats are prepared for their next levels of training. Real battle.

There are.. obvious drawbacks with the use of Q5 War Cats, but the results are much, much more satisfying than watching War Cats overdose on catnip and enter realms of paranoia and, essentially, gaining a new understanding of the world as they know it.

Q5 War Cats


Defensive Plans:

My final item of disclosure for Party Presidency will be my defensive plans to turn the Offeec of Lolcats into a permanent defensive stronghold for the coming invasion of Florida.

With such high-stakes, and the massive amount of enemies that feel like destroying us and conquering our country is the way to go, our stronghold must be established, and to do so, we must prepare it before Florida is surrounded yet again.

My plans to add the first stronghold of the Lolcats will be an easy venture, as our Construction Cats will get on it immediately. Felinca, or so it will be named, is going to be our next defensive fortress in the state of Florida, so when those enemies finally lay siege to Florida, the cats of the Federalist Party will have their place to stay and defend. Even though the virtual humans are welcome as well, the fortress will not be fit to serve the needs of our virtual human allies. Living on five saucers of cream per day is more of an acquired talent, rather than natural knowledge.

Fortress Felinica


Thank you for reading my Party President campaign for September 2009. If I am elected, I'll be sure to increase feline funding by more than fifteen percent. Don't forget to donate to our newest organization, "Kitten Tear", as we're having a feline-only raffle next Wednesday!

Capt.Wolf
eUS Marine
Sekretarie of Lolcats