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(Gray-haired venerable anchor looks up dramatically)

Welcome and good evening.

A quiet day on the war front has led to controversy. The Admin Gods have refused eUSA pleas and have not blocked eColombian initiative following the brilliant last-minute retreat of Kansas and victory in Colorado. Rod Granite with more.

"The move would have ended the day with a US victory, stalling the Colombian assault. Kansas was retreated at the last few moments of the battle in Colorado, technically defeating the Colombian attack and earning a 24 hour reprieve. However, a bug in the fabric of the universe caused the Kansas retreat to occur after the Colorado victory, leading to the unnecessary loss of a critical territory.

I spoke with a High Priest here at the Temple of the Admins. He said that the glitch in the matrix has been fixed. When pressed for potential reparations, he merely reiterated that the glitch had been fixed. When further pressed, it was revealed he was an empty hologram blindly repeating a slogan, and that the lamb's-blood sacrifice had been all for naught. Further investigation of the room revealed a large curtain, which, when pulled aside, revealed a spider-hole and a wall of electronics. 'We've got your gold, and there's nothing you can do about it, suckers!' was heard from the spider hole.

Needless to say, Art, this throws into question our entire devotion to these odd deities. Rod Granite, signing off."

In other news, eRussia continues to fail to assault the Great Wall of Florida, or eCitadel as some have come to call it. Some are wondering if it is cowardice, strategy, or strategery. Michelle Anduin contines the watch.

"Art, I'm still here at the wall in Florida, where tension is turning to boredom. (random soldier) 'I'm so boooooooored. (expletive)-ing attack already, you mother-(expletive)ing cowards!'

Ride alongs behind the wall yielded similar sentiment. One group of soldiers were vigorously playing grab-ass under the watchful eyes of their sergeants. 'We've got to find ways to keep them occupied,' one officer said, 'and, honestly, this is about the only way we can keep these privates from joining the two-clickers karate-chopping the Colombian tanks.'

Another group stood on top of the wall with their battle fatigues around their ankles, defiantly bare-bottomed at the Russians. 'I've been at this for 32 straight hours,' one private proudly reported.

Our brave troops continue their vigilance. Michelle Anduin, reporting in."

(to off-camera) The bastards still haven't attacked? What happened, their President's allowance run out?

Oh, *cough* we're back. It appears that we have only to watch and wait. Hopefully, Canada can continue the delaying battles in the north against Hungary and Iran. With the victory in the Yukon, the other member of the brolliance has only the fortress of the Northwest territory to continue initiative against Iran. It is a daunting task, but given the Iranian's reluctance to attack and distraction in India, it might not be a necessary one. This anchor hopes they continue to give 'em hell.

That is the news for tonight. Keep training, follow orders, and the world will be at peace again soon. Goodnight.