Day 2387 | June 2, 2014
Day 2,386, 12:47
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Normand X
NEW YORK CITY, New York - The Post Standard's Headquarters in Seattle, Washington, was victim of a carbomb today. A cheaply made firecracker and firework bomb made with clay and tools was put into the trunk of a 4 door sedan and was detonated at 2:43 PM. The bomb shattered lobby windows and caused fires internally from the lobby to the fifth floor. Editor in Chief Thomas Lane was killed in the blast, as the impact of the blow blew off his legs, and the fire finished him off. The purpose of the bombs were supposedly created by Cuban immigrant Fidel Larrogne in opposition of Lane's public anti-Cuban ideology. While the main impact was centered primarily on the main HQ of the Post Standard, impacts were felt at a 2 block radius around. Another building effected was the Roman Emporium Building, a building which is owned by President Emma as a former investment opportunity. The building served primarily as a hotel and spa, including a office building. The entire lobby was shattered. Mayor Luis stated in a public statement "Our hearts and our prayers are out to everyone effected by the blast." In total, there have been 13 confirmed casualties, and 31 confirmed injuries, 14 of them severe and require medical attention.
PHOENIX, Arizona - 200 million U.S. Dollars in cash was stolen discreetly by a group of terrorists in one of the most elaborate bank robberies in the history of the United States. The terrorist group known as El Shelbri was formed in 1968 as a bank robbery group robbing small time banks for petty cash, then the group grew. In 1989 El Shelbri gained national attention for stealing 15 million US Dollars in a elaborate hacking scandel with several online banks. Furthermore, they once again gained national attention for stealing another 50 million dollars in the United States directly in cash through Bank of America by clogging 911 with fake calls, and clogging the police department with unneeded messages. The most recent 200 million dollar robbery was by far the most expensive robbery for the banks. The 200 million dollars came from a group of 4 banks who's names are disclosed. Not a single security guard even knew that a robbery was going on during the robbery.
BIRMINGHAM, Alabama - Workers in the local district courthouse under renovations for the courthouse uncovered a very controversial piece of history. While removing a piece of unneeded paint on a bathroom door, a bronze plate came up showing in boldface the words "Colored Only." Citizens in Birmingham overwhelmingly believe that the plaque should be taken a picture of, then burned. Though, supporters of the plaque argue that it is a piece of history, rather then a racist symbol upon the judicial system. Rather, the U.S. District Attorney for Birmingham stated that not only would it be politically incorrect to keep the plaque, it would be unconstitutional and illegal.
ATLANTA, Georgia - Atlanta violence spikes as riots erupt due to possible corruption in a American Football game, a football game that was looked upon as one of the most important games in the entire tournament. Controversy erupted as directly after the game, player John Haymich went to the referree and told him "Where's my money.", as the three words were caught on hot mic. Reaction was almost immediate, as thousands of citizens took to the streets protesting the NFL National Football League and demanding players such as Haymich be barred from playing ever again. A local poll shows that a majority of coaches in the NFL agree with banning players involved in corruption.
JACKSONVILLE, Florida - Jacksonville's Mayor John Menthe made a very controversial decision today in a press conference. At around 6:30 PM he announced the fact that he would not be participating in the year's Penter Fair. The Penter Fair is a annual fair dedicated to the furthering of technological advancement in economics and science. Menthe announced that he would not be on the Jacksonville platform for Science when the Penter Fair committee announced that they would be allowing a LGBTQ platform. A very controversial comment indeed, as social media erupted with anger, and support.
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That's Day 2387 | June 2, 2014
PHOENIX, Arizona - 200 million U.S. Dollars in cash was stolen discreetly by a group of terrorists in one of the most elaborate bank robberies in the history of the United States. The terrorist group known as El Shelbri was formed in 1968 as a bank robbery group robbing small time banks for petty cash, then the group grew. In 1989 El Shelbri gained national attention for stealing 15 million US Dollars in a elaborate hacking scandel with several online banks. Furthermore, they once again gained national attention for stealing another 50 million dollars in the United States directly in cash through Bank of America by clogging 911 with fake calls, and clogging the police department with unneeded messages. The most recent 200 million dollar robbery was by far the most expensive robbery for the banks. The 200 million dollars came from a group of 4 banks who's names are disclosed. Not a single security guard even knew that a robbery was going on during the robbery.
BIRMINGHAM, Alabama - Workers in the local district courthouse under renovations for the courthouse uncovered a very controversial piece of history. While removing a piece of unneeded paint on a bathroom door, a bronze plate came up showing in boldface the words "Colored Only." Citizens in Birmingham overwhelmingly believe that the plaque should be taken a picture of, then burned. Though, supporters of the plaque argue that it is a piece of history, rather then a racist symbol upon the judicial system. Rather, the U.S. District Attorney for Birmingham stated that not only would it be politically incorrect to keep the plaque, it would be unconstitutional and illegal.
ATLANTA, Georgia - Atlanta violence spikes as riots erupt due to possible corruption in a American Football game, a football game that was looked upon as one of the most important games in the entire tournament. Controversy erupted as directly after the game, player John Haymich went to the referree and told him "Where's my money.", as the three words were caught on hot mic. Reaction was almost immediate, as thousands of citizens took to the streets protesting the NFL National Football League and demanding players such as Haymich be barred from playing ever again. A local poll shows that a majority of coaches in the NFL agree with banning players involved in corruption.
JACKSONVILLE, Florida - Jacksonville's Mayor John Menthe made a very controversial decision today in a press conference. At around 6:30 PM he announced the fact that he would not be participating in the year's Penter Fair. The Penter Fair is a annual fair dedicated to the furthering of technological advancement in economics and science. Menthe announced that he would not be on the Jacksonville platform for Science when the Penter Fair committee announced that they would be allowing a LGBTQ platform. A very controversial comment indeed, as social media erupted with anger, and support.
Paid Advertisement - Want your ad here for the next daily issue? Send Normand X 150 USD, and message him what you want the ad to say.
That's Day 2387 | June 2, 2014
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