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====😃ay 2382 | May 29, 2014=====

DENVER, Colorado - Secret Service in Denver have announced that shots have been fired at President Emma's residence in the White House. 7 shots were fired at the White House before Secret Service and local police tackled the gunman. The gunman was Rupert Hardwell, a well known math teacher. Hardwell was vocally anti war in Canada and anti war in France and has been vocally anti-Emma and against her entire administration. At around 6:33 PM, Hardwell stood at the gates of the left wing of the White House, directly facing the White House Press Room. Hardwell carried a Ruger SR1911 and loaded it fully. Hardwell then attempted to climb the gates, just high enough to put the gun over the gate and fire those seven shots. 4 of the 7 shots hit the window of the White House Press Room, 2 of them hit a Secret Service agent standing by the building, killing him instantly as one of the two hit his head. After the seven shots, Hardwell fell off of the ledge from the gates and fell onto himself falling onto the sidewalk. Local policeman Donald Bythe ran to him and quickly tazed him, then immediately handcuffing him. Soon after Bythe tackled him, Jon White of the Secret Service ran past the gates and further took action against Hardwell. The White House Press corp has stated so far "...the administration has put their best wishes and prayers into the minds of the family of the Secret Service agent killed. Needless to say, we will be boosting the security around the White House and providing agents with additional bulletproof clothing."

CHARLESTON, West Virginia - Mayor Kobe of Charleston in a press conference with members of the print media and television that he is homosexual. This news comes as a special surprise given that Kobe has been married to his wife for over 20 years and recently celebrated his 20 year anniversary with a fundraiser. Kobe also has 2 children, adopted. In that same press conference, Kobe announced his divorce in a tearful announcement. Furthermore, at time of the press announcement the top trending mark on Twitter was #LegalizeGayMarriage, as thousands of citizens went to the Charleston Town Hall to either protest or celebrate. The amount of people became so large, the State Guard had to be called in. The two groups were seperated with a large barrier gate, as both sides threw insults at eachother. "Homophobe!", "*aggot!" were hurdled at each side with a easiness that made Kobe himself state that he was uncomfortable. Since the announcement, Gallup took a poll stating that Kobe's approval rating jumped from 48 percent, to 64 percent literally overnight.

KANSAS CITY, Missouri - For today's report on the city of Kansas City, we turn the light to one of our reporters, Lisa Sphanelli, who was murdered in the streets in cold blood. Sphanelli was sitting at a local city bench right by Feldman Park, a homeless camp. Sphanelli was writing something on a notepad, when a man came to her with a knife and stabbed her 4 times in the head, immediately killing her. The murderer ran away and was not caught. Sphanelli was one of the Post-Standard's best reporters, bringing in breaking news stories such as Congressman Samuel Buster's controversial comments, which lead to his resignation. Sphanelli formerly worked at CNN, or the Cable News Network and reported on the 2012/13 Egyptian protests. Sphanelli will be missed in the Post-Standard, as well as the journalism community as a whole.

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah - Salt Lake City falls to the economic recession as it is the 4th major metropolitian area this year to declare bankruptcy. The entire city declared bankruptcy under Court today noting troubles with the amount of debt, amounting to around 16.5 billion USD in debt. A federal judge accepted the bankruptcy at 5:30 PM. Immediately following the bankruptcy, Salt Lake City's debts will be liquidated and the city's pensions cancelled. All 40 thousand senior citizens living in pension by the government will be cancelled which will definately cause troubles for thousands of senior citizens and families. Furthermore, the city council decided to pass City Budget 1322.1, raising the official city sales tax to 25.3 percent. The deficit for the city is officially at 163 million USD.

FORT SMITH, Arkansas - A massive organized protest was due for today in Fort Smith City Square. Thousands of citizens with picket signs, chanting "Cuba? You mean South USA!". Thousands gathered in support of a official invasion of the nation of Cuba, as Cuba was most recently recognized as a soverign state. Under organization of congressman David Orwell, a mass email was sent to hundreds and thousands of citizens all along the western front. No official word from the Department of Defense, Department of State, or the nation of Cuba.

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That's Day 2382 | May 29, 2014