Join the new world

Forewor😛 It's been quite some time since my last article, and I've been busy. More and more of you have been sending me dirty messages to come back, and I'd hate to disappoint, so here it is, TTT Day 1,249.

Australasiafrica

In my absence, the Chinese have established a large empire, successfully controlling East Iran, most of Pakistan, some of India, most of Thailand, and regions in Japan and Korea. As an effect, the world's cheap egg roll supply has shot up. On an unrelated note, diarrhea has become a more common affliction.

Razavi Khorasan, a part of Iran, and Sindh, a region of Pakistan, were invaded by their original countries in an attempt to get rid of the Chinese.

Serbia continues to steamroll through Asian Russia, as of now holding Volga, the Urals, and Western Siberia, while attacking Eastern Siberia, on its way to the old fortress Far Eastern Russia. If the invasion continues, Serbia will be right in the middle of Alaska and Lion King, two major American-allied regions.

I don't know about Serbia, but I wouldn't fuck with this.

Eastern Europe

While the guns of Eastern Europe are quiet today in comparison to the constant fighting over their rich battlefields of last year, its observable that several changes have come to the landscape. Estonia has conquered much of Finland and Latvia and Lithuania have annexed Belarus.

The once powerful Romanian people have been beaten into one region by their Hungarian foes, Bucovina, and Serbia still holds a majority of BiH.

For now, the Balkans' only battlefield is Greece. When Greece controlled Cyprus and Turkey, it was among the largest countries in the world, but now, the Turks have reclaimed independence and have conquered Central Greece and the Aegeans. From Central Greece, they are launching an attack on the Ionian Islands off the western Greek coast. The Greek's have counter-attacked on the Aegean Islands.

Western Europe

And so we come to Western Europe, the land of hairy fat men and whatever British women are. I cannot stress these things enough.

Now let's start in the tastiest country of all, Italy. The assault start somewhat slowly, with Slovenia, which now encompasses parts of Switzerland, Austria, the Czech Rep, and much of north Italy, began fighting Italy. Now, Macedonia, which has more users in all three of its regions individually than Italy altogether, has gotten involved and take parts of Italy from the Northern, Central, and Mediterranean Islands, plus the Corsica region of France.

The Americas

Polandball, controlling an empire spanning three continents, still uses funny letters, but now those funny letters have reached new colonies. Apparently, so that their colonies don't outdo them, they've conquered shithole, like the Amazon, France, and New Jersey, so the empire is pretty much equal in how livable it is, which isn't much.

As of now, they've conquered North of Brazil, Center West Brazil, and Parama and Santa Catarina. They are currently fighting the Brazilians in Rio Grande de Sul. These new regions, coupled with the fact they've toppled a large portion of the area's largest country, makes them the new regional superpower of South America.

President Emerick gives a press conference on the threat of Spain.
Meanwhile, in the place that matters (AMERICA!!!!11ONE!!!two4!!1)Spain has initiated minor conquests in the Southern US and are currently invading Indiana. Nothing of value was lost. Poland has taken New Jersey, and Canada is climbing across the Eastern Seaboard.

That's all for today, and remember that the USWP is full of godless commies.