Just moments ago, during the video recording of a speech to the Danish citizens, Grev Per's underground bunker was stormed by Swedish Shocktroopers.
We were in the middle of recording a morality boost to the Danish soldiers when the attack hit. You can see the camera shake when the first charges were blown several levels above us. Grev Per kept his cool and went through with the video spending precious little time for the good of his country and it's brave troops.
The Swedish Shocktroopers were many and it did not take them long to fight their way through guard quarters and ammo depots to our studio.
When the door flew open Grev Per was the first on his feet. He drew his sidearm and send a barage of bullets flying towards the opening, dropping the first two Swedes that came through the door. "OUT!" He ordered me and the Minister of Church, Rune K. Johansen. I grabbed the newly recorded video as he fired a couple more rounds at the door to keep us covered as we ran for the backdoor.
We reached the backdoor and the room flooded with Swedish Shocktroopers behind us. All seemed to have been in vain but Grev Per let out in a terrifying roar as he threw himself at the Swedes in order to buy us the time we needed to escape.
That was the last I saw of him.
Now we have reason to believe that he is still alive and a rescue mission is in the making. It will be launched around 2 pm tomorrow.
His sacrifice will NOT be forgot and we will carry on for the next 22 hours as he would have wanted us to! So here is the speech to the patriots, soldiers and citizens of Denmark.
Transcription of Grev Per's speech:
Dear Friends and Danes
I want to say I'm very proud of your performance today in this war, you fought a valiant struggle against an impossible enemy. The Swede is devious and prone to using cheap tricks. And also highly immoral. It goes without saying that only humans have morals and well you know what they (Swedes) are. I also want to thank our human comrades from Bulgaria and South Africa for putting up a brave fight even with their smaller numbers.
Things are looking grim right now, Sweden sucks and we're gonna lose this battle. It's a sucky country. It's got unions, lawyers, a whole political infrastructure of boredom. They've pretty much created a second life of erepublik but without all the cool dolphins with tits and fairies. We're talking cool but uh… don't get me wrong, I don't think their cool but uh… you know what I mean.
They even have a world ambassador. I mean the guy is so fruity he puts the ASS in ambassador. Unfortunately I'm making this speech with uh.. ….well spoken. They will be understand this probably, it's not written so they'll be understand this probably. Which is uh.. my mistake but I thought it was important I show my face today. To give all our Danish soldiers hope, I want you to know we have a plan for you. We have a plan for Denmark. This invasion was our plan. There was no way we could ever withstand a traditional military combat with the Swede. That goes without saying, however no nation can maintain control over another nation against the occupied people's will. Sweden can't either, they will continue their war path after us, they will eventually. And once they have overextended themselves and made too many world enemies, and they already have a lot. We will use the opportunity to rise up, and destroy the Swedes. We will do it from the inside when they least expect it, when numbers no longer matter. In the meantime under the occupation I will create the political party Svenskere Sutter. We will ravage their countryside like Hannibal did to the Romans 2000 years ago. We will vote ourselves into political offices of smaller cities and steal all the (gold from their) coffers. I want you to know that this is just the beginning of the battle, not the end of the battle.
Also pick up smoking, we can give the Swedes cancer through 2nd hand smoke. Kindergartens, hospitals, old folks homes, whatever, smoke there.
I also want to encourage all of my listeners, fans and supporters to contact me. If you are a true fan of Denmark, a true ally of Denmark you will contact me to help us rebuild the country.
I also want to encourage all Danes to read the biblical interpretations of my Minister of Church, Rune K. Johannsen.
And finally I want to say the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I am alive and well and hiding underground. My war experience has been not most impressive, I fought 4 swedes with high powered machine guns with my bare hands. I didn't win but I came out even. I also used the resources of Danish government to heal different soldiers, and I'm also using money to aid the war effort against the Swedes.
We will eventually prevail.
Through bureaucracy Denmark will prevail!
Og til de inviede: Skinke's tale.
Transcription of Skinke's speech:
Jeg vil gerne understrege vigtigheden vi i de kommende dage allesammen støtter op om Grev Pers projekt. Jeg er blevet indviet i hans plan og jeg kan love jer at vi er i trykke hænder og at alt er under kontrol.
Når Danmark bliver svensk, hvilket det uundgåeligt bliver, er det vigtigt at vi alle sammen er enige om hvad vi gør og hvad vi vil foretage os. Jeg opfordrer jeg på det stærkeste til at følge vores præsidents eksempel: køn kun dansk, arbejd kun dansk og ansæt kun danskere.
Vi har nok danske firmaer til at overleve det næste lange stykke tid; vi har mad, vi har våben, vi har gaver, vi har huse. Svenskerne vil intet få ud af at invadere Danmark. De vil fortryde den dag de satte fod på danske jord.
Jeres Vice Præsident, Chef for HEMSTAPO, Skinke.
Gennem Bureaukrati Triumferer Danmark.