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Day 2,028, 20:12 Published in USA USA by Gnilraps

Drunk on the Moon
Day 2028 of the New World
9 June, 2013

Some Stupid Idea That's Better Than Anything Else I've Heard

Because, I swear, I got nothing better to do (and yes, I am aware of the breach in grammar...), I offer this potential solution to the idiotic problem of Unity.

Frankly, I think the entire thing is a gigantic pile of dog shit. But because I had an idea, I feel like publishing it. And since everyone and their stupid stooge nephew has an opinion, I figure this pathetic article won't hurt anything, and what the hell maybe I'll pick up a subscription or two.

And so my (latest idiotic) solution to the "Unity Problem" is called:


Stupid name. I know. But because this is such a useless waste of your time and mine, I am quite frankly abandoning that urge to put any extra time into any aspect of writing this trash. So we're stuck with that as the name. CROSS COUNTRY UNITY.

Why did I pick that name?

Because my new system is based on the way Cross Country meets are scored.

In a Cross Country meet, the top 5 finishers from each team contribute their "place" to their team's score. So if I finish 1st, I contribute 1 point to my team's score. If my team's 5th runner finishes 10th, he contributes 10 points to my team's score.

Now in a real cross country meet, the top 7 from each team actually count. So if I can get my #6 runner across before your #5 runner, that ends up costing you another point.

So in a two-way race, here's how it might look:

1 - RED1
2 - RED2
3 - BLUE1
4 - BLUE2
5 - RED3
6 - BLUE3
7 - RED4
8 - RED5
9 - BLUE4
10 - RED6
11 - BLUE5

In this race, the red team accumulates
1+2+5+7+8= 23
The blue team accumulates

Red wins with 23 because the lowest score wins.

If we get stuck with another crappy Unity election, and trust me, if The Idiot and his Circus of Dancing Fleas ends up occupying a Top 5 party at CP endorsement time WE WILL HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER GADDAM UNITY ELECTION, then I propose we move to the CROSS COUNTRY UNITY system to determine who our candidate should be.

Every party gets its own endorsement, and they get weighted based on their membership, so that the Feds would be a 1, AFA would be a 2, USWP would be a 3 and so on down the line.

Hell, I'd even invite the Idiot and his derphole* Circus to participate because they'd get totally blown out of the water in this system anyway.

So what do you think?

*Sorry PQ... fixed that. Thanks for keeping me honest.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled clicking



Cody Caine
Cody Caine Day 2,028, 20:18

We all know that CC is really your tribute to me.

Kara Zor El
Kara Zor El Day 2,028, 20:23


Clydeo Day 2,028, 20:26

rather intresting read

Ronald Gipper Reagan
Ronald Gipper Reagan Day 2,028, 20:32

ofc you got nothing to do, 50% of your articles are dedicated to your obsession with me/us

kavinaugh Day 2,028, 20:54

half of yours are devoted your obsession to pfieffer and the trrbl elitists.

Bucephalus92 Day 2,028, 21:11

Shouldn't you be busy stalking women?

Ronald Gipper Reagan
Ronald Gipper Reagan Day 2,028, 21:13

I don't need to stalk them. 5% rule. 5% of every girl I message on OkCupid can be persuaded to meet me in person for a date. I also only message 6's or better,

joshua tucker
joshua tucker Day 2,028, 21:52

Shouldn't you be on something like ChristianMeet or something? or did you get banned from there too?

Ronald Gipper Reagan
Ronald Gipper Reagan Day 2,028, 21:53

There are Christian girls on OkC. I am supposed to meet this cute English chick living in the US now. She's abstinent 😉

Drew Blood
Drew Blood Day 2,029, 14:36

Reported to OK Cupid for stalking....

Viarizi Day 2,030, 00:54

You mean J-date Ajay, dont try to hide your jewishness! xD

creitzell Day 2,028, 20:40

I think it is a very good idea. Invite all of the 6th parties to participate.

Whiskey Jack
Whiskey Jack Day 2,028, 20:42

Well, it's different, I'll say that for it.

Jimmy Cincinnati
Jimmy Cincinnati Day 2,028, 20:45

I put him in my primaries. He got "0" votes

Dogpyle Day 2,028, 20:47

Interesting idea, Gnil.


Silas Soule
Silas Soule Day 2,029, 03:20

I like the idea, but I do think rewriting is the essence of good writing.

I mean.. "faggoty"? Really? Did that pop out because you forgot to use "butthurt" and "derp" every other word? What has the evil internetz done with our thesaurii?

Gnilraps Day 2,029, 20:18

Yeah PQ, sorry about that. Double check the song reference for my defense against how crappy this article was.

Thank you Susquehanna Brewing Company for your delightful sampler case.

Thedillpickl Day 2,029, 09:07

My logic chain:
Cross cuntry
(Why are there no pics of chicks running?)
Oh... Just referring to cross country.
Something... something... something...
In golf the lowest score wins.
OK, so this cross country election thing will be similar to golf!

To summarize Gnilraps want to whack Ajay's balls with his clubs and then stick them in a - hole.

Viarizi Day 2,030, 00:53

Too much math for me.... XP

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