Cootie Power

Day 588, 19:06 • Published in USA Israel • by Moishe
This article is actually a re-print of an article I had on a blog I once wrote. I had intended to write another but time passed too quickly tonight as I assisted my son in obtaining his own company. I hope no one minds a re-visit to one of my old stories:

From the time I started school until I got in the 10th Grade at Lyman High School we moved at least once a year. Sometime we moved twice. In the 9th Grade I was "the new kid" three times!

Being the new kid had its bad points. In fact, all it had was bad points. One of its bad points was that you were a fair target for the other, not new, kids.

When I started the 5th Grade at Kaley Elementary School in Orlando, Florida I immediately became a fair target for my classmates. It was declared one day that I had "cooties"! Not the head lice kind that can easily be cured. These were the kind little boys get from being kissed by little girls. They were also the kind that appeared when someone simply made the declaration and others accepted it.

So I had cooties. Because cooties was such a dreadful "disease" and seemed to be able to be passed by having any contact with the infected, or drinking after them, or sitting near them, or even using the same urinal they used, my social life took a definite dip!

When we took class break to get a drink none of the other children would use the water fountain after I did. None of the boys would use a urinal or toilet after I had used it. No one would sit at the table where I sat at lunch time. Needless to say I was quite miserable.

Then one day I had a thought!

When we took class break that day rather than getting at the end of one of the two lines organized at the drinking fountains I walked to the head of the line, reached out and touched both fountains while saying rather emphatically, "Cooties!"

All the children quickly left the lines and proceeded to the bath rooms. After helping myself to a drink of water I did also.

In the boys' bathroom were three urinals each with several bladder loaded boys standing in line waiting their turn. I walked up to the middle urinal, reached out and touched it while stating, "Cooties!" The boys at that urinal went to the other two lines allowing me free access to the one I had touched. Feeling the power I had while I relieved myself I also reached out and touched the other two urinals. "Cooties!" I exclaimed.

The boys lined behind both urinals quickly left to go use one of the four stalls. I finished my own business and, as I made my way out of the bathroom, I touched each stall door as I walked by stating my purpose, "Cooties! Cooties! Cooties! Cooties!"

When we went to lunch I located a table I wanted, went to it, sat my tray down and looked at each kid with a smile. Placing both hands on the table I whispered, "Cooties." They all got up and let me have the table. I then walked to each of the other tables being used by my class and touched them as I declared, "Cooties!"

It was at that moment that a miracle occurred. It seems some spontaneous cure had over taken me and it was decided by my suffering classmates that I no longer had cooties. Or if I did it did not matter because they had all become infected.

I was accepted at that moment and never again bothered while I attended Kaley Elementary School. My classmates and I had learned a valuable lesson, one that has stayed with me through out life. When one gets served lemons change them into "Cootie Power!!"