Congressman Liuto on the run!

Day 605, 00:58 • Published in Japan Japan • by Imperial Sun Party

Congressman liuto Flees Japan!


Normally I avoid the tabloids and read more informative prose such as that found in the Ashigaru Taishou, but the importance of the person involved--a member of the Japanese Diet!--and the odd circumstances surrounding the event made for a compelling interest. Here is an excerpt from the しゅうかんじつは (SHUUKAN JITSUWA), a known tabloi😛



A short translation for those who are Japanesically-challenge😛

"According to reports from Kanto region police office, on the 11th of July, Congressman liuto was arrested on suspicion of breaking the Tokyo Public Disturbance Law (Groping Action sub-clause). The report also indicated that on or around 830am on the 10th, inside an AKU-Moving Line train bound for Tokyo station from Shibuya, the suspect, Congressman liuto, groped a high school girl's buttocks above the clothes."

I could hardly believe my eyes. To add to the sordid mess, the high school girl involved had actually photographed the event with her cell phone, using the pictures to blackmail congressman liuto. The situation was exposed when the girl's parents discovered that she was buying Q2 gifts that she could not normally afford with her バイト (part-time job) salary. Police investigation led to congressman luito, who fled the country the following day after his arrest, stating that he was "off to fight in the war."

As an activist congressman interested in promote the public welfare, I would like to use this unfortunate case to promote my "Safe Japan" campaign. Below are some of the various signs and causes they support:



No Groping!

For those of you who cannot afford the Q2 moving tickets (the Green Car on the SHINKANSEN bullet train), you may have experienced or witnessed this all-too-common humiliation in Japan. The hands of a HENTAI ("pervert") groping a high-school girl, and apparently this bad habit reaches even into our National Diet!




No Dirty Pictures

Some will say that I am an eJapanese Don Quixote (also the name of an excellent cheap store in Japan!), tilting at windmills if I try to stop dirty pictures on the internets, but I do not believe it is a lost cause. As you can see from this poster, high school girls are NOT going to take it anymore. They will call the police who will scold you and confiscate your ridiculously expensive Japanese cell phone (I used Softbank).




Clean Up Your Dog Poo

Many of us have pets, and our meager eJapanese dwellings are not large enough to satisfy their desire to roam freely, so we take them to the park. When nature calls, do the right thing and clean up the poo, especially if someone is eating nearby. (The sign also says "use a leash when walking your dog.")




[size]Don't Buy Fake Stuff[/size]

Undoubtedly another lost cause, these stern-faced Japanese pretty boys were hired by the government to tell you not to buy fake things. 偽者は、いらない = "I don't need fake goods" I guess I won't buy my Louis Vuitton wallets in eChina anymore...!




Dangerous Intersections





If we all work together, we eJapanese can stop heinous crimes like this from reducing our standard of living!