Congress To Execute Tax Evaders As Part Of Minimum Wage Raise
SamWystan
Issue 1
"The Fieldist touches me... and no you may not quote me." ~maverick10 Dodge Knight, Clever Girl
Inwegen To Be President of the United States
by SamWystan
In a quiet ceremony in the Rose Garden the other day, independent candidate for President Inwegen was anointed future president of the United States of America by President Josh Frost and former President Alexander Hamilton. Mr. Hamilton presented a chalice filled with oil and passed it to Mr. Frost, who dripped it onto Mr. Inwegen's head. Mr. Frost then told Mr. Inwegen to rise, and gave him the ceremonial Presidential kiss.
(Mr. Inwegen was then given the ceremonial sword-pat-on-shoulder-by-an-attractive-woman)
Mr. Inwegen's anointment comes at a time when he appears to be losing in the primaries. While the Libertarian and S.E.E.S. primaries are largely expected to be his, the Federalist and USWP primaries (largely seen as deciding primaries) appear to be firmly in his opponent, Haliman's, camp. At this time, The Fieldist believes that the UIP primary is also swinging Haliman's way. It is unknown whether the endorsements of the past and present presidents will sway voters who don't read the newspaper because they're too busy driving between work and boot camp to read.
Congress To Increase Minimum Wage To Stop Tax Evaders
by SamWystan
Congress is debating a measure introduced by Princefigs (USWP-GoM) to crack down on tax evasion by raising the minimum wage to seven or eight dollars, a possible 900-1000% increase from the current minimum of $0.80. The belief is that this will offset the costs of shadier business practices by workers and employers, including donation schemes and working internationally. Congress is also debating a plan to hang tax evaders for high treason.
(A tax evader, seen here using a bank to avoid taxes)
Lower-tax advocates have opposed the plan. "They're going about this all wrong," said a person afraid to give his name because the Congressional Death Squad might get him. "Congress is now going to go through a convoluted process when the answer is clear: lower taxes. It's like clambering over a house to get to the backyard when you can just walk through it." Congress has stood by the plan, telling opposition citizens to "shut up."
Canadian Moose Not What Voters Thought He Was
by Project Psion, assisted by SamWystan
Canadian Head Moose TemujinBC came to power on stellar campaign promises. In the first plank of his campaign he promised a baby boom, in which Canada's population would be "skyrocketed" to 8000 by January 5, in which a new Head Moose would be elected. According to Canada's Financial Times "Over the past term, we received no baby boom, and in fact, we lost about 700 citizens."
The plank also included an ad campaign, and "lotteries" for new players. The Financial Times added some more comments to these promises. "What adverts? What lotteries? At least someone made a nice flyer for us to post around our towns." The second plank naturally had to do with the economy. This called for a new savings program in case of a full scale invasion.
(Mr. BC, seen here working on his tree farm while an employee buckles him in)
An unnamed source showed The Fieldist a blueprint of how to get to the vaults for the reserves. Investigation of the air ducts revealed government employees pushing carts of gold from the military reserves to the treasury, and then back to the reserves.
Mr. BC also made promises regarding the military, but results were less than lackluster and not worth going into here. "Basically, all the Head Moose did was end the war with the UK, and quit his position as the War Lord of the Crimson Order." said a distraught Canadian citizen, taking a swig of fermented maple syrup. "Hopefully the next Moose will be better, or we'll hunt him down."
Volume VII
The Fieldist finally issues Volume VII, which has some future changes coming. As of now, there are tentative plans to open a branch in Canada, which will be run by a different editor, but someone whom I have full trust in. Hopefully that will be done before the end of next month. There should be some superficial image changes as well.
Volume VII also marks the seventh month (duh) that The Fieldist has been in circulation, an impressive achievement for a paper that was originally established as Insight to Riot, a really crappy serious newspaper. The Fieldist has outlasted far more things than I ever thought would fall, PEACE GC, Phoenix and EDEN for example, the America's Advancement Party, and a few others not worth mentioning.
Here's to more volumes in the coming year, and completing my dream of getting into America's Top 5 articles again, which I haven't done since like Volume III.
THE FIELDIST ANNOUNCEMENTS
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Comments
The FIeldist: Canada?
So now we can hear all about mooses from the comforts of our....WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING TYPING I ALMOST HAD A FIRST
SECOND?
ANYTHING?
Stellar 😎
This new minimum wage will upset some GMs.
But look on the bright side, now we get more money! Even with the crappiest job!
Most newspapers speak truth, The Fieldist speaks what everyone can understand.
Ah - I guess that's one way to change the taxes.
I like the idea about the minimum wage
Leave minimum wage where it is. Everyone be sure to read this minimum wage on the Public Congressional Proceedings section of the eUSA Forums! A good citizen is an informed one.
http://eusaforums.com/forum/index.php/topic,1005.0.html
Be great for the troops working in communes.
Interesting Canadian analysis.
Stellar indeed.
Minimum wage = bad idea
Sure...let congress change the minimum wage to "catch-em"
OR
Read this first
(not trolling SAM - put a link in it to your paper)
wow, thats a hell of a measure. it will be a boost to american economy, and no doubts about it, lol
'hey, why dont i take this gun and shoot myself in both legs! aint that a brilliant idea?'
Excellent Article Sam; The Technocratic Party of America supports the the comprehensive re-evaluation of the min wage law at the Legislative Level.
Hey, let's make minimum wage $50/day, income tax 100% and let the govt give us what they want us to have. They could tell us where to live, where to work and when/where to fight. We could all Have a homogeneous 'bot' avatar too!
Sorry, I'll take some Ex-lax and come back tomorrow.
p.s. Moose pic is funny.
No ones going to hang tax evaders...
Were going to cook them and use the meat as bait to attract these elusive mysterious eMehicans into areas where they can be tagged to track their migration patterns.
Raising the minimum wage will cause many marginal companies to fold, thereby lowering the income America receives. Adding another government office will simply add another way to siphon off tax payer gold.
It is the outrageously High Taxes that is the cause of all the problems. Look at the tax rates of most of the other countries in the E-World.
voted. great article, as always.
btw, raising minimum wage will absolutely murder communes (especially military communes)
Voted.
Good stuff as always Sam.
Maybe you can get to the top five if you can get people to stop voting up the DoD every day.
You guys have some great comments. May I recommend that you share them where they may have more impact. http://eusaforums.com/forum/index.php/topic,1005.0.html
Cheers Nathan. HobbitTon and Nathan have brought up a good point about getting into the eUSA forums if you haven't already.
voted
I evade taxes, Death Squads be damned!
Pretty funny how 'STFU' & eye rolling was the response month after month about raising the min wage. Now that it is tied to maintaining revenue levels, Congress is very interested.
The other discussion underway would limit govt handouts only to those who work in eUS based companies -- unless they're Euro tanks. Then it's OK.
anyone that knows anything about economics knows that an increase in minimum wage is always followed by an increase in unemployment
this will be interesting
>anyone that knows anything about economics knows that an increase in minimum wage is always followed by an increase in unemployment
this will be interesting
This man speaks truth. Man, I sure feel lucky to be in Pakistan...
bc unemployment is possible in erep in a country of thousands...
Girl, wut girl?
It's a quote from Jurassic Park, don't feel offended. You know, when Muldoon gets eaten by the raptors.
Bumping up the minimum wage that high is a bad idea, since we think wage rates are over-inflated and will come down. And in any case, corporate income taxes come out when we pull out cash for donation bonuses, so Uncle Same gets his 23% pound of flesh anyway. I would not like to see a situation where companies were having to penalize their productive workers or were penalized for hiring new players and forced to work them at a loss. What this probably will do is punch up production prices in a way that does not favor eUS businesses.
@CHS, Vincent, Vincent, and Samuel:
Two wonderful addages regarding economics for you to consider;
1) 'Sometimes, what is good for the goose is not good for the gander'
2) 'marginal' and 'profitable' are easily interchangable due to free will manifesting itself in the free market.