Congress tackles CAF Transparency

Day 902, 14:46 • Published in Canada Canada • by Ace_Blazer

In what seems like the 100th scandal this month, tempers have boiled over between many groups from the CAF to the Executive, to the various political groups. Well the scene is about to get much uglier.

Congressman Dade Pendwyn after noticing the strange activities of Major Marius_Coroleone, supply officer of the CAF, has started allegations of homosexuality in the military, starting a furor that may prompt an even larger social debate.

"How viable is it to have a more transparent screening process to separate the gay and the straight people in our military?" said Congressman Dade. "Obviously personal details shouldn't be made public as it would provide mild embarrassment. However I'm looking through the donations list and I'm seeing huge numbers of HIV meds and condoms being passed around. Personally I believe gays should be kept out of the military as distractions could arise between the soldiers, and it would also soothe the minds of congressmen and the public. Not that there's anything wrong with that."


Congressman Dade reassures a constituent that there's nothing wrong with being gay.

Other members of congress were in agreement expressing concern that their precious money was going towards butsecks.

"These items were not in the budget provided to congress", Pimpdollaz, congressman and known homophobe told The Traveller. "We provide the CAF money; therefore, all CAF activities must be known to congress."


Pimpdollaz notes his copy of the budget.

Many citizens were not impressed with what seemed like a time wasting effort. This newspaper got this comment from only_atoms, who was parading around Parliament Hill with a big "CONGRES R HX04S" sign.

"Stop picking on the CAF. I bet half of congress is filled up with homos, but they don't feel the need for transparency."


only atoms was later seen foaming at the mouth shouting profanities which cannot be recorded here.

JT_Vanguard, the CAF's congressional advisor was unavailable for comment, but Major Marius_Coroleone was located in CFB Greensboro, Spain having been relieved of duty after drinking himself to a stupor while driving a Q5 government tank.


Marius Coroleone, touring with the locals.

More on the issue as it unfolds.