CHAZ4CP IV - Wall O Text Manifesto For The Mandem

Day 3,484, 09:50 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by CptChazbeard

I...I just...what?...what the hell is going on right now?

Sometimes you need to take a step back and look at the wider picture and that's what I've done in completely re-writing my manifesto.
What is more evident than ever is that you can't please all the people all the time and some will go out of their way to be displeased. So I won't bother, instead I'll just outline what I personally believe is best for the eUK rather than trying to bow to everyone.

Loyalty is being called into question from all sides. If you listen to the arguments then seemingly we have a group of multies and foreigners attempting to ruin the eUK and run off with the treasury against a load of clueless old fags who would rather role-play among their small 'cabal' away from the scumbags of this nation.

Indeed, since being nominated for the election by UKPP – sorry conspiracy fans, there was no prior devious plan to switch sides and run – my loyalty has been bought into question.
The truth is I don't have a particular loyalty to any party, these days my loyalty only lay with the eUK.

I don't understand why this has come as a shock to some. I spent my first months of the game with no party before joining the (pretty non-political) Spamicans and then forming 'The Skatalites' (oh WookieO how we miss thee) and have flitted between parties ever since returning to the game. Hell, if I remember correctly I don't think I even ran for congress in my first year.

I genuinely am party neutral. There's good and bad in all parties the same as in life, and it's because of this mentality that I am running for the presidency.
HOME AFFAIRS – The Media and Activity

I feel my greatest shortcoming has been my lack of media presence. Toiling away in the background, often on my own, has led to laughable notions of a lack of activity or commitment to the game.
I've realised that what I should have instead been doing was writing self congratulatory articles bigging myself up, screaming and shouting over any click of a button. (As I'm now doing in this article).

I therefore pledge to not only remain active and do all that is required of me (I'm yet to attack the wrong region) but to bang on about it too. Mediocre clicking of a button that warrants no fan fare? Not anymore sonny Jim, it's now a massive deal.
Zaphod Awards 4 Media N Other Sh*t

In honour of the eUK's favouirte pessimistic commie and his prestigious awards that still carry so much weight and were truly deserved by their recipients (CptChazbeard – 2x Zaphod Award Winner) the Chazbeard administration will set up community awards – with cash prizes – recognising extraordinary contributions to our bat-shit insane online nation. Hopefully encouraging activity and maybe some healthy competition along the way.
Players will be given the opportunity to nominate someone (or big 'eds can nominate themselves) in various catagories with the winner being decided by a cross party panel.

Census
Bar general activity and fighting we know very little about our citizens and as a result much of our judgments are based on best guesses...or no guesswork sometimes. This should provide both the government and congress with better information upon which to base laws that may effect production for example.

If it goes well then it will also allow us to see where help is needed the most.
Ministry of Ejucashun

To errr....educate the nation?
Finance
Though I have p*ssed away millions and millions in the name of the eUK on ourselves and our allies – and am willing to still do so – ultimately I would like any form of government to be sustainable. The political module in this game should be open to all and not just those mad enough to give stuff away.

With that said I will stump up the initial investment in any schemes (with no desire for it be returned) so they will be 'risk free' for the eUK. Once fully costed I will then explain to congress how much it all costs, where the money is going and why and ask for their permission to release funds to continue schemes.

It's a mad cap idea whereby citizens pay taxes and then those taxes go toward improving the nation (I.e firepower) and helping players who need it the most. Players will likely be far less grudging towards taxation if they and/or the nation get something in return.

Bar that I think the exemplary work Huey has done since time immortal means the MoF is in as good a health as possible within the constraints of this game. Every modular change or newly available data has been kept on top of, monetary market fishing and investment schemes continue to tick by and reports issued throughout the month. Why fix it if it isn't broken.
Foreign Affairs

I've said it before and I will say it again. Ultimately I am of the opinion that most of the duties assigned to the MoFA should be undertaken by both the CP and MoD. This game is far too fast paced to warrant more levels of red tape.

I've been in far too many governments to know that foreign counterparts will respond to the CP and MoD. I also know all too well that not allowing your MoD freedom of movement will only hamper their productivity and you run the risk of 'crossed wires' with every additional layer of bureaucracy.
Here's a sort of example of what I mean:

Stringent Gov'
CP: “Bugger, we're being invaded, we need a plan!”
Mo😨 We Need to rally our allies! MoFA! Go talk to them”
MoFA: I'm on it!
---one week later---
MoFA: Forig people, come fight for us please?
Forigs: Meh. Ok.
MoFA: They said they will fight for us.
Mo😨 Yay! Damage!
CP: Yay! Things happening.

Freedom of Movement
CP/Mo😨 Halp!
Forigs: Again...really? Sigh OK.
ALL: Yay!!! “Kum-by-ahhh my Lord, Kum-by-ahhhhh”

And this is why Karacticus was a bloody good president.

All I expect and want from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is to lighten the load. When some shit tier nation I can't be bothered to talk to wants to open dialogue...then fly my pretty monkey. Fly! Fly!
Military

You may think I have little care for Foreign Affairs in the game, this couldn't be further from the truth. It is just so intrinsically linked to the Military that I see no need for them to be two separate entities.
The military is the backbone of the game and of any nation, the less damage you do then the less valued you are as a member. Our army, our fighters, our suppliers and financiers are the backbone of this country and as such they deserve as much focus and assistance as possible. If they don't do what they do then our bargaining chip at the alliance table dwindles into insignificance, our presence would be like having the team mascot sitting in on a board meeting.

I produced a load more ranting on my view of our military and how I feel it can be altered to benefit us which you can read here. For now I will try to be as brief as possible. Those who know me will know I am a military man when it comes to the game and those who have worked with me, especially at times of war, will know that I don't muck about.

Articles & Orders
Cheerio daily articles. I see no point to these bar trying to make the MoD look busy and half competent. “Oh, it shows the allies where we fight” errr no it doesn't, it just shows that a link has been copied from the battle page. More often than not our priorities will remain on a battle which is pretty much in the bag whilst another ally struggles.

Instead orders will go directly to commanders and fighters with the reintroduction of The Hellfire Club. I still think it's the least cumbersome and efficient way to communicate with players. Painstakingly over the last month I compiled a list of all of our most active fighters by division and sent friend requests. We had almost 100 players grouped into mails, 40 ready to go and a further 30 pending.

This way too we can be a tad more discreet with our operations and supply players with the relevant information pertaining to their divisions rather than blanket orders. I also want every newer player issued with a guide on how best to fight.

Articles will of course remain, however I want them to be informative and highlight what is good about the eUK's military. This is how we sell ourselves to our allies.

Aviation
Most players will have figured out how they want to best spend their time fighting already. What I will try to do is encourage D1, weak higher level accounts and new players to fight solely in aviation (whilst simultaneously training). On average D1 accounts for 1-2% of our damage output whereas if their efforts went into aviation they could be far more valuable, it just needs to be sold to them.

Supplies
Subscription supplies. Rather than daily/every two days players simply need to sign up to the scheme and be supplied weekly. There will be criteria players have to meet in order to be supplied but overall this will be a more efficient system than Call to Arms. Yes you have to sign up but it's quicker than saluting and being supplied every day.

War/Training War
We'll open dialogue with the next Irish government in regard to the continuation of the Training War. However, as always, I far prefer a direct conflict that actually helps an ally and as such will seek one. Last time I said that we attacked Argentina, I can't guarantee an opportunity like this will arise again looking at current geopolitics.

Damage Concentration and Efficiency
Just realised how high the word count is getting so I'll give a general recap of my military manifesto and some additional points.

- Direct orders and weekly subscription supplies. No more missing supplies or having to search for orders.
- Streamlined MPPs with weekly 'Top 5' issued for auto-DO.
- More encouragement for certain players to switch to aviation.
- eUK only COs placed on important battles.
- New guides taking into account aviation and residency (we can't ignore that)
- Informative articles as opposed to pasted links.

There are a few more ideas I wish to implement but I will run a survey before hand to see if anyone would take up the idea and let's start with the basics first.

TL😃R Version

- I'll focus on publishing articles more than working in the background.
- Community Awards recognising players in different fields.
- Census to supply the government and congress with more detailed information on our population.
- Taxes to be invested back into the country rather than sitting in the coffers. (With congress' blessing)
- Streamlined government, less bureaucracy.
- Educational stuff and things.
- Efficient and effective military set up with far more investment.
- Full co-operation with congress.
- Weak ass players to be strapped to catapults and shot into the sky.
- I'll end the apartheid and free Nelson Mandela.
Yours every faithfully,
CptChazbeard - Feckless player and apparent PTOer