Canadian Ambassador's Report: End of June 2009

Day 585, 09:57 • Published in USA USA • by Jaxon Leith

Canada, for a little over a week now, has been under attack by a terrorist organization known as COBRA, led by the illustrious Augustis Baldwin. COBRA claims to have several cabinet ministers in its employ, and has begun leaking government secrets and will continue to do so until paid by the government. The secrets they leak are highly sensitive materials from the upper-government forums. News of this has been very difficult to keep up with. Canada has several newspapers that have been publishing conflicting stories, and COBRA itself has been spreading much of the confusion. The Prime Minister, Jacobi, has repeatedly denied paying COBRA off, and has taken more of the “put up or shut up” approach to COBRA. It should be further noted that many see this as an attempt by the Canadian Empire Party to discredit Jacobi’s administration, as he is part of the Canadian Paradox Party. COBRA has been labeled as a terrorist organization by the Canadian government.

Another big topic has been the citizenship of one Dean22. This controversy was brewing the last time I wrote, but it has continued to grow, despite the PM’s attempts to discredit its relevance. As a cabinet minister last year, Dean22 left Canada for Russia and supposedly took lots of Canada’s weapons with him, as he was Minister of Defense. His citizenship was revoked by Congress. Since then Jacobi has reinstated his citizenship, though many have claimed he can’t bypass Congress like that. The PM has responded by saying that the Canadian Constitution does not give Congress the power to revoke citizenship in the first place. He has also dismissed it as a trivial affair, which admittedly, it is.

Those are the biggest parts of Canadian news today, along with Congressional elections, and there weren’t too many surprises there.

I would finally like to introduce my Deputy Ambassador, Daniel Hawkins. His job will basically be keeping up with some of the news for me and assisting in negotiations, when possible. I look forward to continuing to work with him.