Canada Must Die.

Day 3,124, 15:53 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof


Today, the ninth day of June,
unknown ages from the time when the sands evolved without time and space
and formed Dio of Pakistan in all His purity.

Several thousand days after “Za Warudo”,
when Dio created the world,
and felt it to be good.

One Hundred and Four months from the creation of Falcon in His image;
Ninety-Seven months since Nave led the charge against the Canadian menace,
Eight years after Taguaro assembled the piggish Spaniards.

Eighty-Two months from the NAP with Portugal;
two thousand and three hundred days from the anointing of Emerick as Der Fuhrer;
in the one hundred and third week of membership in Pacifica.

In the year two thousand and sixteen;
the sixth year since the replacing of the disgusting hexagon battle module.

In the fourth day of the election of President Yui;
the country owning 19/20 resources,
WE THE PEOPLE, eternally Dioist and beholding to our past,
desiring to sanctify the world with cleansing sand,
yearning to stick it to Rylde and his pocketbook
and four years passing since CanAm 2: Electric Boogaloo,
again demand war against the snow-loving people of the North.


The People of these United States demand war against the filthy Canadian menace. I hear the cries of the people in my inbox and on the forums. I hear the dead cry out to me from beyond the eGrave, clamoring for the death of Kanada.

We must create the North American Federation.

As we learned long ago, it is righteous and good. Kanadians are snow-loving hat-people who, if left alive by our merciful hand, are only worthy of subjugation and foreign rule. Hell, they elect Rylde all the time and let him rule with an iron fist. We’re just switching out an iron rod for a glorious American scepter, and a comfortable boot heel for them to gather under.

We’ve let them sit idly by up North, doing them no harm. Letting them do as they please, which they are pretty poor at. However, they recently spat in our face, taking the Neodymium that was rightfully ours. They outright intentionally stole it from us, as an aggressive show of snow-loving arrogance, despite our non-aggression towards them.

It is for the good of humanity, and the game at large, that Kanada ceases to exist. Immediately.

We must Manifest Destiny.