Body language
Day 1,188, 02:20
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Published in Belgium 
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by
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by mittekemuis
This is the first article of series about how we perceive things different in the new world. Today I ask myself how we can communicate without the presence of body language.
Body language: does it exists in the new world.
Body language is an important part of communication in real life which can constitute 55% or more of what we are communicating. Only 7% comes from the words we actually say. If you wish to communicate well, then it makes sense to understand how you can (and cannot) use your body to say what you mean. On the internet chat and through mails you can't see or feel the non verbal communications. So how will you know what someone is saying is genuine or the truth.
First watch the following link:http://www.youtube.com/user/Mitchla#p/u/8/x9YTxff3pHU
You have seen an example of how body language can't be denied. For the ones who are really interested in this topic I will give you and other link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X7fKZTmZa4&feature=related
Knowing this, I start to wonder...how do I know how someone is feeling in a chat room or in an email. How can I ever know someone is really telling the truth in the new world where all interactions are done without non-verbal communications. The written word becomes very important. Like MaryamQ stated in her article (http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/reflections-on-game-vs-real-life-1683399/1/20) words are a powerful tool in games like eRepublik. Words can lift you up but can also put you down. Especially in the eWorld where the most powerful tool of communication isn't in play, body language.
Is there a solution for this?
Human beings are resourceful. We wouldn't be human if we didn't at least try and overcome the problem for not having non-verbal communication to our disposal.
Hence the finding of emoticons! Emoticons are created to replace the most common body language.
An emoticon is a facial expression pictorially represented by punctuation and letters, usually to express a writer’s mood. Emoticons are often used to alert a responder to the tenor or temper of a statement, and can change and improve interpretation of plain text.
Then there are other means of non -verbal communication. The time you take to answer certain question should give you an indication. We play with punctuation marks and words written in capital letters. All these things gives us an indication about the state of mind of the person sitting on the other end of your conversation. I can't deny that with the interpretation of all this data, the emoticons the punctuations we get a feeling about the state of mind of the other person. Still I'm left with a big void. I can't stop wondering, “what is that person really thinking”. As a psychoanalyst I let people talk and meanwhile I am very focused on the body language of the person I'm talking to. The focus lies on awareness and self-awareness. The combination of both verbal and non-verbal communication gives me a complete picture I miss when I talk on the irc.
What do we learn from this?
In absence of body language, although replaced with emoticons and other means of non-verbal communications, the written word is a powerful tool to get your message across. Think before you write something. Ask yourself in what possible way your message can be perceived and don't be surprised that the person on the receiving end doesn't read what you think you wrote.
For example, when I feel bad and I get a remark I will take it as an insult but when I feel good about myself this same remark will be excepted as building critic.
That concludes the lesson for today!!
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Giving the fact that the non verbal message cannot be seen we should focus on the words, especially ... the way they are arranged. Everybody has a pattern and if you will find that pattern you will find where a person is feeling uncomfortamble speaking . Usually , people tend to write down/respond to the things they are sure about and write little or nothing about that subject if they aren't. The time of reply is irrelevant because this is erep and RL beats ER(i hope) but if a person avoids the answer or the conversation (if he started or participated in it) then there is a little problem and maybe he is lying.
voted
very interesting article mitte. To answer your question: you don't know how someone is reacting on the internet. You don't know if they are telling the truth or if they are sincere. But then again,
I rarely come in a situation on the internet where I have to take things serious. And tbh, you don't always know if someone is telling the truth IRL either. Sure, you've got some semi-scientific tools to read someone's body language, but they aren't 100% correct either. I think that's one of the greatest things in life: having the ability to lie.
Great article Mittekemuis! Is this part of your RL job? Or are you just interested by the body language? I ask this because I got a training for managers about body language and your article is getting very close to what I learned.
@Shadowukcs, I don't know how I have to interpret your sentence, "having the ability to lie is great..." 😉
@OLv007:yes it is part of my Rl job. I only simplified things a bit because I know a lot of people would quit reading if it is too scientific 😉
Olv: they are. Lies are what make us human. Lies are what comfort us and make us human. Lies have had a greater impact on humanity than truths.
watch: "the invention of lying" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1058017) It's a humorous film that proves my point without going all scientific on this subject.
People lie because they know or are afraid about the impact that the truth could have. So yes, it's probably true that lies have had a greater impact than truths, but if people had said more the truth it would have had a bigger impact than lies.
History is written by the winners
Our history is probably full of lies
Nice article! 🙂
tl;dr
There is a tribe in Africa that literally depends on body language thus they do not communicate at all at night for they cannot see each other clearly (just a random factoid I got from QI). xD
Very nice article, mitte, as usual! There are certainly some nonverbal cues in written communication, some more effective than others, partly, as pointed out, depending on the medium. However, most of us have far less practice in reading these than we have with body language.
Although I agree that lies are common, powerful, and sometimes even not a bad thing (I am thinking particularly of the "white lie" - such as saying something kind but not really true to avoid hurting feelings), those of us who want to be honest and believe others will be, too - and I am guessing this is where Olv007 comes from, as well - find ourselves unwilling to condone lying to get an advantage over other people or to make ourselves look better than we are. There is always a middle ground between speaking the exact truth and speaking an outright lie, and that is to say nothing.
As a manager you mostly know more then your employees, or at least you know it before they know it. And sometimes you just cannot tell the truth but saying nothing could be even worse. So what you can do is saying a half truth. You just say what you can say but you avoid the things he is not supposing to know. This way you avoid to lie (what could harm your relation with that person) and you create more confidence between you and him by giving him some information.
fyi your video is pretty outdated and not realy right?
I enjoyed reading this artcile Mitte , it was worth the wait 🙂
*I have a weapon*
Interesting read, I enjoyed it verry much.