Bazooka Riots meet Paradoxical End, New One Propaganda Targets Children

Day 1,410, 18:18 • Published in USA USA • by Paul Proteus
Disclaimer: This Issue is a Satire, If you don’t know what that means it means I’m better than you >.>

Welcome to a new issue of Goodbye Blue Monday!

This issue is in two parts:
-Flaws in “Bazooka Riots” found out too late
-New ONE Propaganda leaked…Targets Children


^Click for Mandatory Listening
Quote of the Week:
“I will go to the battlefield to kill some EDENIST” –Yhamlitz, Pro-One Supporter who is Apparently on My Friends List


Flaws in “Bazooka Riots” found out too late

eRepublik, September, 29th 2011

Player Rioting over Uneven Distribution of Bazooka Parts ran into trouble when disgruntled Players planning on leveling bazookas at Admins run out of Scopes needed to assemble the bazookas needed to threaten the Admins. “Our plan was flawless”, says an anonymous protester, “except for you know, that one flaw”. In a recently announced statement, a representative of the Admin has continued to assert that there is an even number of bazooka parts and that the recent protests “are unfounded, and weren’t even perpetrated by gold buyers, the fact that they thought we would care” is “amazing” and the representative went as far to call the protesters “delusional”. The Admin Rep. went on to make a point to announce a new deal on buying gold and other “loyalty rewards”. Though complete causes of the riot remain un known, it is possibly due to a leaked document from Plato to the Moderator detailing a plan to “eliminate the scope” without the players realizing. Plato has continuously rejected this rumour stating that “Scopes will always be for sale to our Loyalty Members, as well as occasionally show up for our non playing members…sometimes…possibly” He then trailed off and left, answering all questions with some gibberish about Romper.


This is a Scope….It is rare and inspires insanity

In other news, A county court has indicted the Admin on two charges of misusing the word “Loyalty” citing that if they did then the program would be for old players not rich ones, in response the Plato court has banned said County Court on 3 charges of “Blasphemy”.



Plato seen here, finally finding an opponent he can at least match wits with

New ONE Propaganda leaked…Targets Children

eUSA, September 30th, 2011

Eden, sounds like a mythical garden with a half price deal on apples, but some are giving it a more sinister twist. In what some see as desperation and others as brilliant marketing Pro-ONE political strategists have begun branding EDEN players as eDentists. This is especially terrifying given that the average age of eRepublikans is set at 5 ½ by a GBM secret poll of player maturity. In any case Dentists are terrifying enough already, imagining an e-Dentist is terrifying.


Artists Representation of Dentists

Official EDEN reps have replied with their own insults repeatedly saying that "two is greater then ONE", which is mathematically true.
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Until Next Time,

Stay Sexy