Any resemblance with Smee's article is purely coincidental!

Day 4,205, 23:51 • Published in Croatia USA • by Doc McStuffins

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

This article has no relation to eRepublik and as such is posted in Social Interactions which is therefore according to the Rules and Rules:Addendum not considered spam. It is just a piece of creative writing I decided to write.

One day, a little boy named Richard Zucker was born.

Of course, the short form of the name Richard is the name Dick, so all the other children called him Dick.

Dick was a weird child, from a weird family. But I wont talk about that, what I will tell you though is that there are two important facts for you to know about little Dick Zucker.


Fact #1.
He loved everything gold. Of course he was too poor to have any real gold, so he just painted stuff gold.

He painted his shoes gold, so he had golden shoes. And he loved those golden shoes.
He painted his fishing rod gold, so he had a golden rod. And he loved that golden rod even more.
He painted his showerhead gold, so he had a golden shower. And he loved those golden showers most of all!


Fact #2.
He was from a magical, imaginary land like Narnia, or Middle-earth, except this place was really, really horrible.


Now enough of this.. on to the main story...

Well I mentioned before Dick Zucker was poor, and he would usually steal from his neighbours. What would he steal? Anything. But despite this, his neighbours were good and kind people and wanted to be nice to the little Zucker kid.

So one day, while playing out on the street, a neighbourhood kid yelled out "Hey Dick Zucker, come on over and let's play football!"

To this, little Dick Zucker, replied "Can we also play basketball and volleyball?"

You see, Dick Zucker loved playing sports. But not just any sport, he loved basketball, football, volleyball, tennis, golf, ping pong. Basically any game with balls he loved to play. It didn't matter if it was big balls or small balls, he just loved to play with them.

Dick Zucker loved to play with balls all day and all night.

So, the good and godly and just neighbourhood kids said "okay, we can play, but only if you play fair!" because it was well known that everybody from the same imaginary land as Dick Zucker was a cheater.

Dick Zucker agreed.

But, Dick Zucker was a liar. He was a cheat, and a thief, and everything horrible you could imagine in a person. So he cheated at every game they played so that he would win.

And after he won by cheating he would gloat about it, because after all, he was a horrible, horrible person.

Of course the neighbourhood kids all realized what was going on, but they kept playing with little Dick Zucker. Days became weeks, and weeks became months, and months became years and little Dick Zucker grew into big Dick Zucker... and after all this time he was still cheating...

and winning because of it...

and then gloating about how he won...

And then, finally, about 10 years later on, the neighbourhood kids finally had enough of that Dick Zucker, so they said "fine, if he wont stop cheating, let's cheat, but just as much as he does so that it could be finally fair."

So they did, and then Dick Zucker lost, and he cried... and he cried and cried and cried so much that he cried a whole river of tears...

And the next day, they played again and Dick Zucker cheated as usual, but so did the others but just as much as Dick Zucker.. and so once again Dick Zucker lost.. and he cried.. and he cried and cried and cried and he once again cried a whole river of tears...

After 10 years of Dick Zucker winning by cheating, he was so spoilt that he couldn't even take less then two months of losess. And one one day, he yelled out "this is unfair!!!! you shouldn't be cheating, only I should be cheating!!! Your cheating just as much as me is unfair!!! only i can cheat!! stop it stop it stop it waa waa waaa!!

and then he tried to drown the world in his tears and starting yelling how he would never play again.

The only thing the whole neighbourhood could agree on was good riddance Dick Zucker!

And so the world was a better place without lifelong cheaters.

The end.

EDIT: I dont wanna take credit for other people stuff, but this is sheer literal brilliance and i have Smee's permission to post this article