Anthropology of the New World

Day 1,374, 18:57 • Published in USA USA • by Blank Keating


Greetings upon you, New Worlders. My name is Dr. Richard O. Jackson. I was sent 20 months ago from the outer world to this place to document the local society and culture. Even though I have been able to blend in for most of my time, recently, you have discovered I am black. I fear that you will soon know all about me, so I had to complete my study. As you are all the locals, it is only fair to divulge what I've learned, for the good of all. I trust this information will assist everyone in their day to day life, and inspire more inquiries on the psyche of these great peoples. Enjoy.




Also called "tanks". Tanks are weapons used by tribes and groups to destroy each other, in human form. These tanks shell out thousands of their own currency to members of the trollus administrus for their power. Their allure to their purpose is unknown, but no one questions it as it gives tribes more power over others.




An organizational species that run tribes and groups. Most work towards a common goal to give other species a purpose in their life and land to live in. Often found cutting each other down for more power in their own organization. Will use females and animals to gain emotional leverage over their peers.




A section of the militarus genus, this unique tribal warrior is less concerned with fighting enemies and more concerned with fighting their own. They will often find miniscule reasons for outrage and tear down tribes and groups with generalizations. As the militarus are not in the trollus genus, use of humanization has some positive effects in making the species docile.




A mutated species that broke off from the trollus genus, the rebellius pizzium will rally other species against elitisimus terribli, attempting a type of ethnic cleansing. The pizzium is a master of tribal propaganda, but it's lack of personal charisma and credibility causes it to often be defeated by the terribli.




A species that all live within one tribe, in a world outside tribes. The trollus forumgoerus' primary goal is to gain reactions from other species, while masking their own reactions. The narcotic effect of succeeding in this task creates a temporary state of euphoria, whilst allowing the trollus to forget it's empty outer life.




A species that does slave labor for fun and profit, creating inner tribes in countries called "parties". The use of "parties" is largely subjective, and these parties will often argue with parties of the same origin. Most species other than the partria believe parties to be unnecessary social mechanisms.




A unique race that has had the most success in escaping the mind control powers of trollus administrus, the externalus advertisia finds other addictions to overwrite it's current addiction. Despite this, the advertisia will return to the current addiction to bring people to the other addictions, and after failing, return to administrus' control.




After being enabled by outsiders, a dozen of the administrus create an omnipotent entity, capable of enslaving approximately 200,000 members of other species. The administrus will ignore it's subjects incessantly and often take away liberties for them, but the subjects will continue to stay and shell out currency to it, especially the goldus devourus. The trollus administrus receives the same euphorias as the trollus forumgoerus.


This concludes my findings. I would advise those from the outer world not to interface with any of these species directly, as they are all highly venomous, and may turn you into one of them, or into a homosexual. If you have found a species undocumented here, please include it in the section below, for the good of science.

Cordially,
Richard Orenthal Jackson, internet doctor