An Insight Into The Life of Alexis Bonte

Day 1,347, 18:29 Published in United Kingdom Norway by Major Lee Hung

This is the second series of a range of articles I will be releasing, The Insight Into The Life Of... Its basically (not real) auto-biographies about popular figures of the eWorld and how I perceive them! (Last one is here: An Insight Into The Life of Romper)

This one was requested by two people (Although I forgot their names, it was like a month ago, sorry its so late!)



Hello loyal subjects,

My name is Alexis Bonte. I am well known for my leading role in the highly successful internet game, Erepublik.com. This game has atleast 10,000,000 active people probably, but please ignore the number on the home page, that number is broke.

Career

My career involves the running of Erepublik, this is very challenging as its the most popular game ever made and as a result the players get jealous and angry at me. Sometimes they call me names and talk about all of these bugs on my game, but there aren't really bugs, those people are just communists sent by World of Warcraft to take back their customers.

Other Businesses in Development

I own several other internet businesses that I'm trying to start up, because I'm the world's greatest entrepreneur and I feel I should be the world's richest person to match it.

-Everything.com: This is a cool website I am creating. It will have everything ranging from children's games and social networks to banned pornographic movies and a brothel finder, this will mean people don't have to use search engines anymore. I have to be careful though, the guys from Google will probably try to kill me.

-Backofheadbook.com: This will be much like Facebook. However, unlike focusing on pictures of people's faces, I decided to find my own little niche, and instead make the focus on the back of people's heads. I expect this website to make $10,000,000,000 within its first year of operation because nothing like it exists.

-Whatswrongwithme.com: This will save you a doctor's visit, you go to the website when something is wrong and it will tell you what the problem is.

-Virtualpet.com: People will pay me $100 a month to get a dog in case they want a dog but none of the added responsibilities, and at any time they can watch the webcam feed of the dog. I plan to expand this website soon so that people can throw the dog treats.

-Nothing.com: This will be a website with nothing on it so that people no longer have to close their browsers.

-Edictatorship.com: This will be like Erepublik except instead of the admins controlling everything, there will be democracy and free markets.

Hobbies

My hobbies involve signing autographs for people because Erepublik made me really famous, role-playing (My favourite role to play is playing Colonel Gadaffi on Erepublik, disguised as Plato, an ancient scientist) and not listening to music.

You may think not listening to music is an odd hobby, but my philospohy is that you should do things opposite to normal people, so I listen to CDs with no noise on them for hours a day. This is the thing that made Erepublik so successful and get over 10 million active people playing every day.

Family Life

I have a wife and two children, but they're not allowed to leave my basement. They disagree with my ideas and I think my wife might be multiaccounting, which is the thing I'm against most. They say role-playing as famous dictators is going too far but that's obviously nonsense.

Notable Comments About Me

These are my favourite quotes of things people have said to me, people are very nice to me.

My friend Dave: Erepublik is pretty cool

My investor: I like your game so much that I decided to make two accounts instead of one and spend 2 million Euros on it.

An anonymous email I recieve😛 ur an obviously foggot!11 - This is my favourite. I think a foggot means I'm his hero. This guy is obviously suffering from some kind of illness though, I sent a reply with a signed photo of me saying 'Alexis Bonte, your #1 foggot' and he got really mad at me and swore several times. This hurt my feelings.

Thanks for reading my autobiography, hopefully now you will like me a little more and tell even more of your friends to play.


This one was terrible, I know; but I don't know much about him except that he has cool hair and an obsession with sand worms. 🙁

Post requests for the next one in the comments!