Amurica: you stand no chance against Free People. Make your choice!

Day 1,756, 06:51 • Published in USA USA • by Ariakis


At first I must admit that I am not such a swift with words speaker* as A^2, that's why you must forgive me, because I will get straight to the point.

For months we, the Free People, worked hard to bring USA into prosperity. We gave you bonuses, we gave you tax money, we gave you military power that allowed Amurica to stand among the biggest nations of eWorld.

We defended you against unprovoked aggressions, against snakes that crawled into our peaceful country, by largely contributing in securing your congress list, for that you lacked native inhabitants.

Now in exchange for our great gesture of friendship (and tax money) we, the Free people demand you to:

-stop with the Dio crap - we're sick tired and bored of that shit going on for 4 years, we're bored of being constantly dragged into some irrelevant battles in some irrelevant country going by the name of Pakistan, we're tired of the false priests going by the name of fagmuricans who constantly bring the Dio shit out. Face it: Dio is dead. Leave the corpse alone.

-cease any aggression towards Indonesia - we're bored of your eternal hate, constant wars, the neverending papuan-hawaiian drama. Leave those poor guys living on volcanic islands alone. In fact we, the Free People, agree to help them into finally moving onto some solid land. In the future please look for the nation of Thaidonesians.

-nuke all the KFCs

Says it all.

-change your menu for Thanksgiving - because for the obvious reason we find the main dish name offending. Alternatively we thought about the different name, a name that would be recognized, yet is completely known as a deserted place where sun doesn't even knock. Therefore from now on you will eat Jersey, I mean jersey for Thanksgiving.

Finally if those conditions are not to be met Amurica shall die and perish. An on its ruins we will build a new alliance called ALT. For because only the death of Amurica can bring the ALT into bright light.

The ALT alliance (long Americo Latino Territory*😉 shall then bring the enlightenment and freedom to rest of the barbaric world from its capital located in Jamaica.

Tho if those conditions are to be met we, the Free People, are willing to forgive you and let your little misbehavior be forgotten.

Choose wisely Amurica!
______________________
* in fact I am, yet I'm not bored enough to bother myself,
** we honestly forgot to ask the author of the name if he was drugged, grammatically incapable or simply Ricky Martin's fan, before this poor Brazilian llama's shepherd ran frantically into muddy remains of Amazon and drowned.